At this point I feel helpless, hopeless, soul less. Feel numb to it all my days and nights are a blur. I am constantly pacing and can not focus. Music helps a little. Heart is steadily racing and thinking the worst. It is really bad cause I don’t have anyone to talk to and I have to put on a happy face through all the pain I’m going through. Damn this feeling I freaking hate it. Emotions are up and down, feel like I am losing it. Only way I feel a little calm is when I am writing and the last couple days that has been hard to do. Knowing that you are losing someone is a lot to deal with and I am not taking it well at all, on top of the daily struggles and taking care of a family. Anxiety been at a high just craziness. Ugh calm down and breathe. Sorry people it’s how I feel right now got to let it out, forever venting, my feelings, my thoughts, my life. Just Write about it. Thank you for reading.

7 thoughts on “Numb…

  1. This sounds like you might be neglecting self care/self love, on an inconsistent or maybe… consistent basis. But this may be due to the demands of life, that it seems like those things can’t become apart of your schedule because life demands so much from you.

    I am calling it what it was for me, you might not fit underneath these descriptions, but it’s here if you can relate.

    I hope you know that I understand how you’re feeling, and that I could hear you loud and clear. You’ve been giving too much, maybe even feeling forgotten… unappreciated. These may be imagined, because your being is not receiving love from you, so it may not understand and receive love from others very well.

    On another perspective, your being may not be great at receiving love from you, because it may have gone so long without that constant exchange, or without the healthy exchange of love from others. That there might now be a blockage, where nothing is going in and nothing is coming out, except the cries for help and the anxiety in its place.

    These are just parts of my experience, it’s not a direct representation of your position, but it’s here if you can relate.

    I hope you feel both the love and understanding I am passing along to you in this comment. Knowing that it is okay that you felt/ feel this way and that you did a great job at expressing yourself to us. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s