That “NO” Word

Hello, how is everyone’s night going?

Why do we sometimes feel like we can not tell those close to us the word no, if we do, we feel guilty and question ourselves. We want to help and be there, so we do not like to tell people no. The thing is we know sometimes that the best thing is to say no and know it is the right choice, but we struggle with it. Me I have that problem especially with my kids. I try to please my love ones no matter what. Yes of course there are times when I am like no and that is final, but still feel bad about it and there are times where I do not know why I feel bad. Why is that? I am also like that with my mom. Is anyone else this way? This is another thing I want to change in my life.

I want to say those two letters and mean it and feel bad about it or selfish. Its not to the point where I feel like people are taking advantage, it is just how I feel about saying no and thinking about the other person feelings. Yeah, I often push I how feel to the side, but at this age I am used to it-SIGH-. Just like to help people, I guess.

Can you easily tell a loved one no?

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.

3 thoughts on “That “NO” Word”

Wow! I’m curious what the story behind this post is!

Every game needs boundaries, or “rules.” Too much freedom is no fun, as is too much restriction. It’s great if the people in your life have learned to self-regulate but there will always be some times when they need to be reminded of the boundaries.

The only “loved one” fully in my life is myself! So, it’s all self-regulation for me right now.

My major other loved one is saying No by her absence, but not in words. I am trying to get her to say “yes!”

Can we get a little intimate here? Is this appropriate here? If not, maybe you can edit this:

We met together in potentially intimate situations four times before she had to move back in with her parents.
Each time I expressed my love for her and went over with her the limits for our visit. Though I tried to get her active participation in this process, I got the feeling she was having a hard time deciding how to set limits or express them clearly.

At the third meeting she invited me to cuddle with her in her bed (this is clothes on). I behaved in a way that seemed prudent to me, but she was only saying Yes, never No. After that, she wouldn’t meet with me like that for several weeks, and couldn’t really explain why. But my guess is that she didn’t really feel in control enough, that she would not have been able to say NO no matter how far I might have asked her to go. She was just too into pleasing other people, and especially me.

But look at the message this sent me! She enjoys my company and intimate contact! And yet since that time, we have had no intimate contact. So now I feel somehow misled.

Why did this happen? Because she is so used to doing what pleases her man, and not saying No?

So this is the great challenge for anyone in any relationship, but particularly women: Can I actually decide where I want this relationship to go? Can I express this clearly to him? Will he take me seriously, or constantly try to push it farther? Will I be able to tell him No if he tries to go too far? Can I decide when I should give the final No and end a relationship? Do I understand myself well enough to help him understand me? Do I understand him well enough?

Does this discussion fit with this post? Do others feel this is an issue in their relationships as much as I feel it is in mine?

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