Just had to take a moment and think of everything that I am grateful for. Though the last few months I have been very busy I am proud of myself. Grateful that I have the strength to get through those not-so-good days and push through with my writing. Got so much done with my book and I am grateful for that too. Grateful to those who have been patient and understanding with me. It has been rough, but I am still striving to work on my dreams. So grateful and thankful for my family. My two kids are my biggest supporters, and their love and support are everything to me. I will continue to have faith and keep on working on myself. I am grateful I have made it this far. At the beginning of doing this blog and writing a book, I was always self-doubting. So again, I say I am proud of myself. Grateful for it all. Shoutout to those who supported me on here and took the time to read my blog. I appreciate it.
Just wanted to let that out. Still a work in progress. 🖤🧡💙🤎💛💚❤💜💕
Have you ever met somebody, and you hit it off, and you two get along? The good conversations, then boom it freaking ends. Ugh I hate that. That is why I try not to get too attached and get my feelings involved, because people will switch up and change on you. Like do not introduce me to that if you cannot keep it up. I do not like the “oh I will talk to you only on my time” which is when or who knows when can you say irritated? I like consistency is that hard to ask for? I also do not like my time wasted that is so annoying or do not like my damn feelings hurt. These days it is so hard to find a nice genuine person like myself. Maybe I will take a seat and focus on me. Time to myself and not worrying about pleasing the next person. I really liked the person but oh well what can you do? I will move on and let it go. Whatever. Wasted my damn time, SMH
When you think of control what does it mean to you?
Control to me is having a say over any and everything. Have to be up close and have a hand in everything that is going on around you. Including control over people.
Man, man, man I hate when things are out of my control. I am a Leo and yes sometimes I am bossy and must control everything around me. When something is out of my control, I feel lost, nervous, my body shakes I feel anxious and I get easily irritated. Anybody else like that? I be a nervous wreck and constantly questioning everything. Then I am overthinking and worrying, crazy huh?
Some people say to me that its ok to let go of having control over everything and relax. It is hard to do that thought. I have been thinking about it lately and maybe I should let go a little, take it one day at a time, relax, do not go overboard, and try to run people lives. I mean how hard can it be? Where do I start? Are there any other control freaks out there? Help lol
So tonight, I am sitting and thinking. And of course, this damn dude is on my mind. Like what the fuck, why? My emotions are everywhere and yes, I am a little tipsy and besides what I am dealing with I am thinking of him. Again why? Oh, my yall I am irritating my damn self at the moment. Cannot help but to think is this real? Does he really feel the same way I do, shit does he really like me? Here I go feeling young-minded and questioning myself and the situation instead of letting it all go and that is not good. Just feel confused and out of it, maybe I should just walk away and forget it all thought it was what I wanted but I do not know now. I have mixed emotions and we are both dealing with things. That is why I do not like putting my feelings out there I feel dumb and used it to benefit them talk and texting on their time. Thinking yeah it is too good to be true. Just wish I could find realness, real love besides what I can offer. Ugh it's
too good to be true and I am pissed off. I really need a friend and love I feel dumb and stupid and I am thinking why me why I cannot get what I give. Venting, thinking, and letting it all out, I am rambling, ugh irritated though.