Tag Archives: Venting

Too Good to be TRUE..

Too good to be true…

So tonight, I am sitting and thinking. And of course, this damn dude is on my mind. Like what the fuck, why? My emotions are everywhere and yes, I am a little tipsy and besides what I am dealing with I am thinking of him. Again why? Oh, my yall I am irritating my damn self at the moment. Cannot help but to think is this real? Does he really feel the same way I do, shit does he really like me? Here I go feeling young-minded and questioning myself and the situation instead of letting it all go and that is not good. Just feel confused and out of it, maybe I should just walk away and forget it all thought it was what I wanted but I do not know now. I have mixed emotions and we are both dealing with things. That is why I do not like putting my feelings out there I feel dumb and used it to benefit them talk and texting on their time. Thinking yeah it is too good to be true. Just wish I could find realness, real love besides what I can offer. Ugh it's

too good to be true and I am pissed off. I really need a friend and love I feel dumb and stupid and I am thinking why me why I cannot get what I give. Venting, thinking, and letting it all out, I am rambling, ugh irritated though.

Thank you for reading.

Another Vent Night!

Venting….She Just Write! 🤷🏾‍♀️

Hello all,

 Really hate when I try my hardest to get over someone who my feelings were too involved with. Had strong feelings for them and I feel used, I feel uneasy. Seems like they really did not care about me, do not love me the way they said SMH. Been four months since I have heard from this person. But now he is trying to reach out to me. Like why? I am so pissed right now and yes; I am having a little anxiety. Have posted to my blog in the past about this person. No, it is not the first time he has just out of nowhere stopped talking to me. This is a cycle ugh and me do not like it at all. I do not understand it, maybe because twice already I have allowed it. Thinking he is already in a relationship and just talking to me for his convenience. In the past I did have feelings and wanted to give it another chance and that lasted all but three freaking months and not really with consistency. Here I go questioning myself and feeling confused and lost. So over it, told myself the last time that if he did it again that it would be done. I am standing on that. Cannot keep putting my love, my feelings, my soul, my mind, myself out there for people to keep hurting me, laughing at me. Especially when I am already going through so much stuff. Do not need the extra stress in my life.

Whew, breathe had to pause and write about this because it bothers me badly and you know that I like to write about how I feel. Let it all out. **Shrugs** SMH thinking damn again, why? What do he want from me? I know I am not the only one who have been here before. Hate when my feelings are strong and for the wrong freaking person. Now he misses me and want me, sending a lot of messages since Sunday evening. Need a drink something strong. It makes no sense. Was having a good day until this BS, UGH. Going to keep breathing and calm myself and focus on my writings. Try not to let it really get under my skin cause really have harsh ass words for him.

My feelings and venting are out and done, my bad if its too much for you all. Again, I vent and keep it real. He deserves my fist to his face seriously. Whew breathe again.

Am I crazy? The only one? Why? Hope your day and night was better.

Blessings all.

Thank you for reading.

#Vent #JustWrite #Focused #OVERIT

This song…Truth!!! 💜🖤💙💛

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=focused+ann+marie+

T.O.L-SN

Venting….I really am trying to keep my faith and belief. I try to have patience and not think negatively. But when so much is going on in your life, and shit happens back-to-back it is hard to think positive. I feel like I am in a trance a bad one. I am just not okay today and trying to pray, trying to write, hoping that things will get better. I am at a loss right now thinking about my mom and grandpa and of course my day-to-day struggles and dealing with other people’s shit. My non-exitant love life. Feelings/ emotions are everywhere tonight. Seriously!

Ugh, what a day, what a night. Trying my hardest to not overthink. Just keep writing and keep busy…Hate when this happens but will make it through. Breathe and relax I say to myself.

Push through it no matter what. Venting a little sorry. Mind is just going right now. Hope you all are having a good weekend and making those goals. And having a fun-filled weekend. Tomorrow is a new day to begin fresh.

Blessings and Love all!

Thank you for reading.

Not the day II: NIGHT

Okay, so an update, my mom’s family decided and made a decision I’m sure a really hard one and took my grandpa off life support earlier today. R.I.P. to my grandpa I can not lie and say I am doing okay.  I am in breakdown mode. He and my mom are together, and I know they will continue to watch over me and be with me. I am sad and just down, very down. Seriously I cannot concentrate, and again like I stated in my blog earlier my emotions are everywhere. WTF and my mind is going miles. Kind of pissed I had to find out on Facebook but I know people are going through it and feeling the loss and grief so I can not take it too personally and take it for what it is. Such a sad night and sorry for the negative post. Your girl is just going through a lot right now and no lie feel like losing it.

 Smoking and drinking(Yeah some do not agree and so what), trying to feel numb that is my night, my mood and honestly, I do not care. Craziness… Too much going on.  For real I am kind of panicking.  Yeah, such a damn day and night.

She venting AGAIN

Love you all and hope your night is better

Again, praying for my family. Strength, guidance, healing, protection, and love.

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.

I Vent…

I Vent….

Doesn’t it just suck when we want what we can not have. Wanting someone or something when you know its wrong it just sucks. Damn this guy from my past has been on my mind lately and I do not know why. I know he is no good for me. We have never been in a relationship or together like that, but I know that he is seriously bad news. But why in the hell do I think about him or want him?  Damn crazy and I try not to think about him. Sometimes I think about what could be or what a relationship between the two of us would look like. I just see his sexy face and sexy voice oh my oh my. I seriously need to stop; can you say annoyed lol. But he is serious on my mind, and he do not know how I feel SMH. Oh Boy! My feelings at the moment, I vent…..

Have a happy Monday!!!!

Thank you for reading.

My Lonely Why…

My lonely Why

Lonely days with nothing but these thoughts, bad ones, negative ones oh man. Sitting in the dark trying to block out everything wondering why. That is what is mostly on my mind all the time, all the bad that has gone on again I ask why? Why me? Lonely nights sitting in the dark with a bottle of liquor in my hands drowning in the liquor trying to drink all the pain away, yes still in the dark its better this way. No reflection of myself and nobody looking this way, good do not want any to see me, just drowning. The past is what brings me here always like why? Why this? Why that? Lonely days and nights turn into darkness, depression, anxiety, pain, despair, and sadness. Lonely with tears in my eyes as I ask my self why. A question to my past. Always lonely and in the dark trying to climb out my own head away from the negative thoughts, climb out my depression, away from my past, away from the madness, and from my lonely why.

Thanks for reading.

**updated:12/15/2021**