Tag Archives: Venting

My Best Friend’s!

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When I try to speak those words

Me, my mind, my soul, and my body

Freezes up

Scared feelings and thoughts

Have to grab my pen and notebook

Write it out!

When I want to look in the

Mirror and face myself

There is a pause, frightened

What is there?

Scared to move, speak out

Have to grab my pen and notebook

Write it out!

Sometimes only way to

Get my feelings out

My best friend’s

Pen and Notebook

Who I’m never afraid

To speak to

My best friend’s

Knows the real me

Updated on a daily

Write it out!

Tonight, giving a shoutout

To the two who have been there for me the most

My best friend’s

Pen and Notebook

I shall

Write on!

-My Best Friends!-

Blessings and love!

Thank you for reading.

Honest-Feels Tonight

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Hello All,

Man, tonight is not a good night. I have been trying to have a positive outlook, and thoughts about life and have been encouraging others to do the same. But me being honest lately it has been hard to do. Especially today. Tonight, my thoughts are dark, and I have been drinking for hours, which I am not supposed to be doing. Without a damn care in the world. Honestly right now my feelings are numb. I do not care about shit right now, and yeah maybe it is the liquor or maybe my wicked thought’s, how I feel about myself at the moment. I want to unleash. Fight mode. Hurting. All day I have being giving myself pep talks and trying to rise above this dark feeling.

But I am tired. Tired of being there for people who can’t help me with shit. It is only so much a person can take. People who I cannot call on to even talk to.  Tired of it all. All I do is give to others, while I am suffering through a lot. Help them always in their time of need. But who is there for me. And yes, I know you should not help others and look for something in return, but damn people I help sometimes I wish I can call them and need them.

Often, I feel like my feelings do not matter at all. It is all about what a person can get out of me. SAD but it is a truth in my life. You’ll think I be use to it by now. Same shit different day…

So here I am writing in my notebook and my blog and about to tune everything out. Phone is off, tv is off. Just drinking and thinking (SMH) hopefully this would pass, been here before and it is not good.

Venting and letting it out as always, no matter what it is. If you think this is too dark or not for you. MOVE ON. VENT SESSION

Just rambling on and venting. Just wish I had a person for me to talk to about anything. Yes I am guarded but still haven’t met a person who I trust enough to let them in and be vulnerable with them. Sill working on it,

Anyways back to my fucked-up night. Writing and music take me away.

Hope you all night is better!

My misery does not like company! Even though I go through a lot I do not wish it on others.

She just being HONEST. Tired of it ALL

Have a good one.

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

Alone

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Alone!

Just sitting here thinking like always lol and I am thinking about being alone lol. Yeah seriously. Lately it had been rough, and I think I need to get away and be by myself, maybe a week or two. It has been stressful at work, and I have been getting terribly upset by it. Personal life as well is stressful now just need a little break. I know I am not the only one. You just want to tell people to leave you alone and let you be. I know that will not happen soon just wishful thinking. Sometimes I want to turn my phone off and just sleep, but I have stuff to do, and I have a family to take care of, I am always busy busy busy, and my mind and body feels it. A spa day, some wine, a vacation somewhere nice would be great. A place that is quiet and relaxing and I can breathe easy and ease my mind will also be great.

Alone with me is what I want. Okay I am just venting here for a while sorry. I know we all have those days and if you are I am praying for you . I am about to write, get some chapters finished and relax I thank you for reading and enjoy your evening.

Love, Peace, Happiness, and Blessings to all!!!

Thank you!

T.N.T-Tuesday Thought!!

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Sorry Not Sorry

Thinking, maybe overthinking……..

I want to talk about how irritated it is when someone constantly tells me that they are sorry for something that they do repeatedly. I do not get it at all. Does anybody else get annoyed with this? I mean why say you are sorry when you really are not. It is not hard to be upfront and real with a person, instead of lying and saying you are sorry for it. That irritates me like seriously do not tell me you are sorry, and you do not mean it or just telling me that to send me off. Or don’t keep repeating the same messed-up behaviors and saying sorry for it time and time again. If you have to constantly lie to me then please choose to move on and not be around me, not too much to ask for.

Ugh okay just thinking out loud tonight, some people are so insensitive. Am I the only one?

Blessings and Love! 🖤🤎💙💛💗💚🧡💜❤

Thank you for reading.

Oh Man.. WTF!

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Doing good then Boom…. Why?

Okay so everything was fine, and I am writing and then my mom pops up in my
head. Oh man that just made me pause and just start balling. Hate this feeling and now feeling a little down. Why does this happen? Now I am going to pray then turn on some music and hopefully stop feeling this way.

UGh shake it off I’m saying to myself. Maybe I need to go to bed. Put the notebooks and pens up and rest. Maybe she is telling me something I don’t know. Whatever music and a shot of something strong, a joint, shower and the damn bed. Just want to feel numb and not think for a while. Crazy months ago, thought I would be done drinking but here I am tonight with all these damn emotions, and a damn drink in hand (SMH). And it is really past my bedtime lol have to be up at 5am (Got To Work! YAY!) plus I have a migraine on top of all this.

Whew! Just venting and a little freaked out. It’s like I am feeling her. Again, have to shake it off….. Get it together. Oh Man, WTF- My feelings tonight.

 I Love and miss you mom. R.I.P.

Hope you all night is good! Have a good one.

 Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.

Sorry if this post is too negative to you…My Blog My TRUTH!

Another Vent Night!

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Venting….She Just Write! 🤷🏾‍♀️

Hello all,

 Really hate when I try my hardest to get over someone who my feelings were too involved with. Had strong feelings for them and I feel used, I feel uneasy. Seems like they really did not care about me, do not love me the way they said SMH. Been four months since I have heard from this person. But now he is trying to reach out to me. Like why? I am so pissed right now and yes; I am having a little anxiety. Have posted to my blog in the past about this person. No, it is not the first time he has just out of nowhere stopped talking to me. This is a cycle ugh and me do not like it at all. I do not understand it, maybe because twice already I have allowed it. Thinking he is already in a relationship and just talking to me for his convenience. In the past I did have feelings and wanted to give it another chance and that lasted all but three freaking months and not really with consistency. Here I go questioning myself and feeling confused and lost. So over it, told myself the last time that if he did it again that it would be done. I am standing on that. Cannot keep putting my love, my feelings, my soul, my mind, myself out there for people to keep hurting me, laughing at me. Especially when I am already going through so much stuff. Do not need the extra stress in my life.

Whew, breathe had to pause and write about this because it bothers me badly and you know that I like to write about how I feel. Let it all out. **Shrugs** SMH thinking damn again, why? What do he want from me? I know I am not the only one who have been here before. Hate when my feelings are strong and for the wrong freaking person. Now he misses me and want me, sending a lot of messages since Sunday evening. Need a drink something strong. It makes no sense. Was having a good day until this BS, UGH. Going to keep breathing and calm myself and focus on my writings. Try not to let it really get under my skin cause really have harsh ass words for him.

My feelings and venting are out and done, my bad if it’s too much for you all. Again, I vent and keep it real. He deserves my fist to his face seriously. Whew breathe again.

Am I crazy? The only one? Why? Hope your day and night was better.

Blessings all.

Thank you for reading.

#Vent #JustWrite #Focused #OVERIT

This song…Truth!!! 💜🖤💙💛

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=focused+ann+marie+