Really hate when I try my hardest to get over someone who my feelings were too involved with. Had strong feelings for them and I feel used, I feel uneasy. Seems like they really did not care about me, do not love me the way they said SMH. Been four months since I have heard from this person. But now he is trying to reach out to me. Like why? I am so pissed right now and yes; I am having a little anxiety. Have posted to my blog in the past about this person. No, it is not the first time he has just out of nowhere stopped talking to me. This is a cycle ugh and me do not like it at all. I do not understand it, maybe because twice already I have allowed it. Thinking he is already in a relationship and just talking to me for his convenience. In the past I did have feelings and wanted to give it another chance and that lasted all but three freaking months and not really with consistency. Here I go questioning myself and feeling confused and lost. So over it, told myself the last time that if he did it again that it would be done. I am standing on that. Cannot keep putting my love, my feelings, my soul, my mind, myself out there for people to keep hurting me, laughing at me. Especially when I am already going through so much stuff. Do not need the extra stress in my life.
Whew, breathe had to pause and write about this because it bothers me badly and you know that I like to write about how I feel. Let it all out. **Shrugs** SMH thinking damn again, why? What do he want from me? I know I am not the only one who have been here before. Hate when my feelings are strong and for the wrong freaking person. Now he misses me and want me, sending a lot of messages since Sunday evening. Need a drink something strong. It makes no sense. Was having a good day until this BS, UGH. Going to keep breathing and calm myself and focus on my writings. Try not to let it really get under my skin cause really have harsh ass words for him.
My feelings and venting are out and done, my bad if it’s too much for you all. Again, I vent and keep it real. He deserves my fist to his face seriously. Whew breathe again.
Am I crazy? The only one? Why? Hope your day and night was better.
I am thinking about life overall and I been thinking about the things that I have failed at in life and wanted to open up about how I deal with those failures. So I have a question my blog peeps, and this can be used as a writing prompt if you are a writer and like to do writing prompts. Question is below as well as my response.
Do you deal with failure positively?
When it comes to failure and I, we are never on the same page. So, to answer this question I do not deal with failure in a positive way. When I fail at something I am usual in an unpleasant mood. I take it to heart, and I feel like I hurt myself when I fail at something. I kind of shut down for a while and just be in a funk. I feel like it takes a while for me to fully process that I have failed. It is not a good feeling. I then start to question everything I have done leading to it. Feel like I must and work so much harder for me not to fail. Failure I know happens from time-to-time life is not easy and pursing your passions, your dreams there is a chance of failure. Me knowing this I still don’t like failing and feel like I am letting myself down or others. I know it is not okay for me to feel this way, but I do. Something I try to work on and know that everything will not always go my way. Failure is a part of life. Some of us need to accept that (ME). Learning to take things how they are when they arrive. Yeah, me and my Failures do not get along (LOL),
How do you deal with failure? How do you move past it? Care to share?
Every pain gives a lesson and every lesson changes a person.
Heard this, and I do think it is some truth to it. Everything you go through is either a lesson or a blessing. It is bad that sometimes pain changes everything about us, but we learn from it. Have Strength!!
Tonight, I am too much in my head. So much going on lately, with personal and work as well as my business. I have so many decisions to make in the next week and a half about my new business, and I am wrecking my mind about it. It gets hectic doing it all on your own (SIGH). Sometimes I feel stuck. Over analyzer. Miss overthinker, as always. Haven’t been meeting my writing goals either my mood has completely been down, and been overthinking that, so I have to work on that. And that’s not all I am overthinking about. My mom’s birthday is coming up and the emotions have started already. And I am constantly thinking about her all the memories and her smile. A crazy and lonely night for me. Yeah, soooooo much going on up in my head…Feel likes too much weight I am carrying. Guess it is bedtime for me. I am a mess right now and just want to curl up somewhere and cry it all out…. I wish I could stop all this damn overthinking and thinking on too much at once. Yall know I have to vent it out!
This too shall pass! Lord be with me.
With that being said I am going to sleep and pray on it Whew just need a breather.
Have you ever felt like you wanted a fresh start or have a reset button? Maybe a pause button like whoa damn slow down life. A fresh start would be nice for me and my family. Thinking out loud and maybe do a longer post about it tomorrow….I am tired and have too much on my mind.
That is my post my feelings tonight. A fresh start is needed. **Short Post**