Tag Archives: Overwhelmed

Random Thought (Not Really)

How long does it take for you to really like a person? How long does it take you to let them know how you feel? Do you wait and be patient to see if the feelings are mutual? Or do you let them know right away and deal with the outcome regardless of what it is?

I am asking this because I am an overthinker and I am guarded. So, sometimes I hold back my true feelings and because I do not like rushing at anything. I tend to cut people off early on, regardless of how I feel about them. I question myself constantly as to why I am like this, why do I get scared of being in a relationship? Why do I fear that a person do not really want to be with me? I will avoid them and their questions. Sometimes I think it is because I fear that a person will hurt me, I feel their intentions are not pure (not healthy thinking).

Again, I do not know why I think this way. I hate it because, I have made connections and get along with certain people, they piss me off once and I cut them off with no problem. Yes, that is with family too. I do not like to be hurt, yes I know it is a part of life. I have had it where I do put my feelings out and the other person do not feel the same way and they admit that I was just someone to pass the time ( True as fuck) and I was crushed (No LIE) and want one thing from me( ugh so sad).

I admit here and now that I am scared of love, I am scared of commitment, scared of getting let down by someone I truly love, scared of showing all of me and in return I get shit on my face. It is hard to deal with and no lie, my pride, my ego gets in the way sometimes too. I convince myself that a person is no good for me. I do feel bad to those people who genuinely are there for me, they really care about my feelings, it is real love, and I avoid them because of my own issues, my trust issues. Shit that has noting to do with them. I try to get over this and let things flow. But damn my head and my heart have crazy battles, head-to-head clashing most of the time. I really need help to deal with my crazy ways.

How do I fully let my guard down without so much overthinking? How do I fully put my heart and trust into someone else hands? I feel like I self-sabotage. Been doing this for years and probably missed out on real connections, and opportunities. Wanted to talk about this and let this out because I feel like I have finally met the person for me (I Think) but of course I am overthinking every damn thing, and do not want to move forward. Maybe I feel like he is not really real with me and honestly don’t mean shit to him, and I can definitely be wrong about it all,

Thinking and venting. Crazy I feel more comfortable with writing it out and sharing on my blog before letting him know. But my feelings and how I am dealing with it right now. So WHAT!

My blog peeps I need help (LOL) but seriously cause man, man, man he is on my mind constantly like all day. We have so much in common, I like him way more than I let him know, hell I want him something seriously but like I said above homegirl is scared. But why though?

Okay I am done venting on crazy stuff…. I need to seriously get it together. I am grown and need to act like it!

Anybody understand where I am coming from?  Any advice? Been there before?

Have a good one!

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

Ray’Elaine’s TRUTH Love it or Hate it!!!!!

Ugh!! Miss OverThinker..

Hello All

Tonight, I am too much in my head. So much going on lately, with personal and work as well as my business. I have so many decisions to make in the next week and a half about my new business, and I am wrecking my mind about it. It gets hectic doing it all on your own (SIGH). Sometimes I feel stuck. Over analyzer. Miss overthinker, as always. Haven’t been meeting my writing goals either my mood has completely been down, and been overthinking that, so I have to work on that. And that’s not all I am overthinking about. My mom’s birthday is coming up and the emotions have started already. And I am constantly thinking about her all the memories and her smile. A crazy and lonely night for me. Yeah, soooooo much going on up in my head…Feel likes too much weight I am carrying. Guess it is bedtime for me. I am a mess right now and just want to curl up somewhere and cry it all out…. I wish I could stop all this damn overthinking and thinking on too much at once. Yall know I have to vent it out!

This too shall pass! Lord be with me.

With that being said I am going to sleep and pray on it Whew just need a breather.

Hope you all are having a good night.

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

A Night.

Have you ever felt like you wanted a fresh start or have a reset button?  Maybe a pause button like whoa damn slow down life. A fresh start would be nice for me and my family. Thinking out loud and maybe do a longer post about it tomorrow….I am tired and have too much on my mind.

That is my post my feelings tonight. A fresh start is needed. **Short Post**

Hope all is great with you all. Have a good one

Blessings and love

Thank you.

T.O.L- Why Do I?

Hay, how’s it going my blog peeps? My night is going ok. Just coming through with some of my thinking out loud thoughts.

Tonight, I am having those why did I moments. Thoughts. the last few months a lot has been going on and I have been super busy with work, home life, and writing. Don’t know why I added a longer shift to my busy schedule. It has been having me drained. I knew it was going to be hard to juggle. Like why did I do that? Early mornings are kicking my ass lol. Another moment or thought is me writing multiple books at the same time. Whew hard work again why did I do that? Tried to make a deadline for each of them but that is not looking too good. Been trying to write every day and dedicate some time to each but after a full day I be so tired.

I really had to sit and think about how much I have going on and need to lighten my load a little. I guess it is the over achiever in me. Also been feeling like I need to stay busy all the time. Have you ever felt that way? I know you guys have those moment when you question yourself and the decisions you made.

Maybe need to put some projects on pause for now and take a breather. Been thinking about having a weekend to myself with no work, no kids, no household duties, no social media, and no phone. You know have a peaceful moment alone. Silence and positive vibes. Breathe and relax

Just another night. T.O.L- why do I? decisions I have made in my life, that I am still trying to figure out. Sharing my thoughts tonight…..

Hope you all night is good.

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

Wishing

Wishing I was better than I was yesterday

Wishing my dreams would happen overnight

Wishing I can stop the overthinking

Wishing my grandma and mom were here

Wishing I can forget all the problems

Wishing life was a little easier

Wishing I had someone who shares my hopes and dreams

Wishing I was not lonely

Wishing for a calm mind

Wishing for more strength

It is just a night

Of wishful thinking

The wishing continues….

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

T.O.L-What a Day, Overthinking

Sometimes I wonder where all this overthinking gets me. I do not like it and tonight my mind is in overboard, elevated level, overload, just going miles. So much is on my mind, tried to keep busy with writing, then tried watching tv but that did not last long. Ugh, need to go to bed seriously praying tomorrow is a better day. Just thinking out loud. And I hate being emotional. What a day. What a night.

Hope yall night is better!

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.