Tag Archives: Lost

Rage II

Rage II

This fire, this hurt, this pain, sadness built up

I just want to let it out

My body, my mind wants bloody revenge

Rage inside and I do not care who I hurt, do not care of the outcome

Rage roaring if you are in my view, tears will be cried, blood will be shed

Rage causing me to lose focus, I cannot see, its darkness

Rage want me to react

Rage got me drowning, drinking constantly

Rage inside of me ready to burst

Flames everywhere

Hurt, pain everywhere

Rage rage rage as it continues to build

Damn rage inside of me

Thank you reading.

#JustWrite #Poetry #Rage

Another Vent Night!

Venting….She Just Write! 🤷🏾‍♀️

Hello all,

 Really hate when I try my hardest to get over someone who my feelings were too involved with. Had strong feelings for them and I feel used, I feel uneasy. Seems like they really did not care about me, do not love me the way they said SMH. Been four months since I have heard from this person. But now he is trying to reach out to me. Like why? I am so pissed right now and yes; I am having a little anxiety. Have posted to my blog in the past about this person. No, it is not the first time he has just out of nowhere stopped talking to me. This is a cycle ugh and me do not like it at all. I do not understand it, maybe because twice already I have allowed it. Thinking he is already in a relationship and just talking to me for his convenience. In the past I did have feelings and wanted to give it another chance and that lasted all but three freaking months and not really with consistency. Here I go questioning myself and feeling confused and lost. So over it, told myself the last time that if he did it again that it would be done. I am standing on that. Cannot keep putting my love, my feelings, my soul, my mind, myself out there for people to keep hurting me, laughing at me. Especially when I am already going through so much stuff. Do not need the extra stress in my life.

Whew, breathe had to pause and write about this because it bothers me badly and you know that I like to write about how I feel. Let it all out. **Shrugs** SMH thinking damn again, why? What do he want from me? I know I am not the only one who have been here before. Hate when my feelings are strong and for the wrong freaking person. Now he misses me and want me, sending a lot of messages since Sunday evening. Need a drink something strong. It makes no sense. Was having a good day until this BS, UGH. Going to keep breathing and calm myself and focus on my writings. Try not to let it really get under my skin cause really have harsh ass words for him.

My feelings and venting are out and done, my bad if its too much for you all. Again, I vent and keep it real. He deserves my fist to his face seriously. Whew breathe again.

Am I crazy? The only one? Why? Hope your day and night was better.

Blessings all.

Thank you for reading.

#Vent #JustWrite #Focused #OVERIT

This song…Truth!!! 💜🖤💙💛

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=focused+ann+marie+

Never

Never

Never lower yourself for a person who shows and or tell you that they do not care for or love you

Never stay stuck in an unpleasant situation if it’s bad leave (Easier said than done)

I know, try to get out of it no matter what

Never say yes when deep down inside and in your mind, you want and need to say no

Never lower yourself/expectations based on what others think or what other want

Never pretend to be someone else.

Never change yourself for someone. You are enough the way you are

Never worry about what they say worry about you

Never give up on yourself know that you are loved

Know that you are worthy, you got it

Never give them the satisfaction of seeing you down and out

Chin up move forward

Chin up be STRONG

Never be Un-YOU

I say never to many things. I have been there before a dark place. Loving and giving my all to a person who showed me they didn’t give a damn about me and what I was going through and at that time in my life it was too much going on. A person showed me their true self and it took a while to realize and understand it all. Was just giving and giving and I was only receiving heartache from family and friends smh. It was not good. I say never again

Never

Have a good one. Love, Peace, Happiness, and Blessings all

Thank you for reading.

Secrets….

Secrets

Hold it in

Walk around with the hurt

Pain, and More Pain

Keep it inside

Secrets

Hold it in

Sometimes wearing that

Fake smile

Keep it inside

Secrets

Hold it in

Let it destroy you

Bury it

In your soul

In your heart

In your mind

Bury it deep

Under

Keep it inside

Damn secrets

Hold it in

Be brave

Be quiet

Be scared

It is what they want

Keep it inside

Secrets

Hold it in

Or

Let it out

Scream it out

Keep it inside

Or

Take your life back

Stand up

Hold it in

No LONGER

Keep it inside

I Will NOT

Secrets

They will sometimes hold you back

Holding it in

Keeping it inside

But

Sometimes

Secrets become known

Damn secrets.

Thank you for reading.

***Just A POEM!***

Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts!

Ray’Elaine Just Write and Be YOU!!! 🖤🖤

COLD

Cold

Cold like the wind

Heart chilled, cool, cold

Shut off from me, you, the world

Standing still, stiff body, damn cold

Pitch black, where am I, nothing around

Iciness, trembling body, I’m cold

What is going on? Damn, freezing

Am I coming or going?

Maybe So.......

Damn I am cold

Thank You For Reading!!

****Just a poem!****

Rage – Just Write (writeblg.com)

Rage II – Just Write (writeblg.com)

Not the day II: NIGHT

Okay, so an update, my mom’s family decided and made a decision I’m sure a really hard one and took my grandpa off life support earlier today. R.I.P. to my grandpa I can not lie and say I am doing okay.  I am in breakdown mode. He and my mom are together, and I know they will continue to watch over me and be with me. I am sad and just down, very down. Seriously I cannot concentrate, and again like I stated in my blog earlier my emotions are everywhere. WTF and my mind is going miles. Kind of pissed I had to find out on Facebook but I know people are going through it and feeling the loss and grief so I can not take it too personally and take it for what it is. Such a sad night and sorry for the negative post. Your girl is just going through a lot right now and no lie feel like losing it.

 Smoking and drinking(Yeah some do not agree and so what), trying to feel numb that is my night, my mood and honestly, I do not care. Craziness… Too much going on.  For real I am kind of panicking.  Yeah, such a damn day and night.

She venting AGAIN

Love you all and hope your night is better

Again, praying for my family. Strength, guidance, healing, protection, and love.

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.

MOM

Want to say Happy Heavenly Birthday to my mom. Even though I am sad and still hurt that she is not here I am going to be strong today. Do my writing like I know she wants me to continue to do. Really wish I can hear her voice but again I am going to make it through this day with happy memories of her. Missing her so much and still praying for healing and strength. I love and miss you, mom. Just Showing love to my mom. And know strength is needed badly. Prayers going up

Blessings all

Thank you for reading.

Forever LOVE