The thing I am most scared to do is Loose control. In a good way and a bad way. I like to be in control, and I feel that I am scared to lose that. I am not sure of what it will take for me to stop fearing my control issues. On the other hand, sometimes, I feel like I am losing control in a way that is bad and a lot of chaos. My attitude can be bad and if I am pushed its so worst. Working on my healing to change that.
I am also scared to drive. I am grown and I do not drive, it is a fear of mine. I don’t know why I just don’t face my fear and try it. It’s something that is always on my mind. I think I will seek help on how to face that fear. I get so scared, and my anxiety goes up when i am in a vehicle..Crazy right? Another one is scared to open up to people. I keep a guard up and don’t really interact much. I keep my distant and keep to myself. This is something else that I have been working on.
Those are the things I am scared of the most. Might be simple or weird things. I own it.
Why is it that fear seems to be a reason that holds us back? Well, some people including me. Is it the fear of the unknown that makes us pause and put on hold what we really want to do? Is it the fear of rejection? The fear of taking risks. The fear of not being good enough? Fear can bring a lot to a halt.
For me, it is the fear of the unknown. I tend to shut down because I don’t know what is to come. That is why it has been taking a while with my book. I know I am good at writing and have a creative imagination and good ideas. I question everything and think of the what if’s, what if it is not good enough, what if people don’t like what I put out. Questions swimming around in my head and sometimes the fear to continue the projects I have going. Fear to put my work out and fear to fully put myself out there and do what is necessary. The fear to take the risks to get out of my comfort zone. Anyone else had or have this problem? Though there is fear within me I am still trying to overcome it. I tell myself that I must change a lot and be willing to do different things that I normally don’t do. I do feel like it is fear that is holding me back. Writing for this blog sometimes comes easy and I just write and just do. I have two books that I am working on still been a year and need to get them done and published. Want to get over the fear of being rejected and the fear of the unknown. Also, get rid of the overthinking too. Want to get rid of my fear of publishing my books and my fear of driving. I know crazy that I love to write but am scared to put some of my work out in the world. SMH. I know I have to have faith and pray the fears away.
Fears make you stop and not want to do anything. Fear has a way of getting in the way of life. Some people stay living in fear and don’t know how to get out of it. Fear can tear you down if you can’t overcome it. Being afraid can ruin your life.
Again, it can hold some back. And I don’t like that I have a little fear, but it is my life and I own it and trying to change it.
What do you think? Ever feared something in life? Do you like to take risks? Is fear getting in the way of your life? What does fear mean to you?
Today I woke up at 4 in the morning screaming and crying out for my mom. Felt scared and lonely. I miss her so much. Wishing I can give her a call I so bad want to hear her voice. I miss her beautiful smile and being around her. Today is so emotional besides missing and thinking about my mom, I am thinking about 9-11 what happened on this day 20 years ago. I still remember where I was at and what I was doing. So, devastating, I remember that was on my mind for months. So much lost and pain that day. It is a day I feel will always be remembered. Again, today has been emotional and I have been trying to do different things to keep my mind off things. It has been hard and as of right now my hear is heavy and all I want to do is drink the pain away. Just a sad day. Maybe try more writing this evening. I don’t know cannot shake this feeling. Venting and feelings out.
Hope you all are doing okay and having a good day. Praying for us all.