Okay so everything was fine, and I am writing and then my mom pops up in my head. Oh man that just made me pause and just start balling. Hate this feeling and now feeling a little down. Why does this happen? Now I am going to pray then turn on some music and hopefully stop feeling this way.
UGh shake it off I’m saying to myself. Maybe I need to go to bed. Put the notebooks and pens up and rest. Maybe she is telling me something I don’t know. Whatever music and a shot of something strong, a joint, shower and the damn bed. Just want to feel numb and not think for a while. Crazy months ago, thought I would be done drinking but here I am tonight with all these damn emotions, and a damn drink in hand (SMH). And it is really past my bedtime lol have to be up at 5am (Got To Work! YAY!) plus I have a migraine on top of all this.
Whew! Just venting and a little freaked out. It’s like I am feeling her. Again, have to shake it off….. Get it together. Oh Man, WTF- My feelings tonight.
I Love and miss you mom. R.I.P.
Hope you all night is good! Have a good one.
Blessings and Love!
Thank you for reading.
Sorry if this post is too negative to you…My Blog My TRUTH!
Have you ever felt unhappy, filled with rage? You just want those who hurt you to hurt also. You want them to suffer and feel all the pain you feel plus more. Past pain, relationships, anybody. Sometimes I think of revenge, wanting to inflict torture and pain, to see them squirm, see them feel helpless, powerless, weak, lost, and scared. I want them to feel it all. That is how I am feeling at the moment I know some people can relate and some can’t **Shrugs**. Payback.
It is crazy how they are out living there lives, they suffered no consequences, out and free. And me I feel I am still trapped in that time in that pain. Replaying the shit that was done and it still feels like no time has passed. Crazy world I feel this way and must deal with it every day. Yes, I have…
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