Tag Archives: Truth


In my mind, a constant battle waged

A war between reason and impulse, uncaged

I knew what was right, what I should do

Yet self-sabotage always seemed to ensue.

Hurting those I loved, leaving them in tears

My actions driven by my deepest fears

I couldn’t seem to break free of this curse

My inner demons, my own worst enemy, perverse.

I pushed away those who wanted to help

My stubbornness, my pride, my greatest yelp

But deep down inside, I knew the truth

That I was the cause of my own abuse.

It took time and effort to turn things around

To break free of the chains that had me bound

Apologies were made, amends were sought

And slowly but surely, my life was re-wrought.

It’s not easy to face the harm we’ve caused

To admit our faults, to remove the gauze

But in doing so, we can find redemption

And learn to love ourselves without exception.

But damn sometimes it’s the

Self sabotage

That gets us!

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

Honest-Feels Tonight

Hello All,

Man, tonight is not a good night. I have been trying to have a positive outlook, and thoughts about life and have been encouraging others to do the same. But me being honest lately it has been hard to do. Especially today. Tonight, my thoughts are dark, and I have been drinking for hours, which I am not supposed to be doing. Without a damn care in the world. Honestly right now my feelings are numb. I do not care about shit right now, and yeah maybe it is the liquor or maybe my wicked thought’s, how I feel about myself at the moment. I want to unleash. Fight mode. Hurting. All day I have being giving myself pep talks and trying to rise above this dark feeling.

But I am tired. Tired of being there for people who can’t help me with shit. It is only so much a person can take. People who I cannot call on to even talk to.  Tired of it all. All I do is give to others, while I am suffering through a lot. Help them always in their time of need. But who is there for me. And yes, I know you should not help others and look for something in return, but damn people I help sometimes I wish I can call them and need them.

Often, I feel like my feelings do not matter at all. It is all about what a person can get out of me. SAD but it is a truth in my life. You’ll think I be use to it by now. Same shit different day…

So here I am writing in my notebook and my blog and about to tune everything out. Phone is off, tv is off. Just drinking and thinking (SMH) hopefully this would pass, been here before and it is not good.

Venting and letting it out as always, no matter what it is. If you think this is too dark or not for you. MOVE ON. VENT SESSION

Just rambling on and venting. Just wish I had a person for me to talk to about anything. Yes I am guarded but still haven’t met a person who I trust enough to let them in and be vulnerable with them. Sill working on it,

Anyways back to my fucked-up night. Writing and music take me away.

Hope you all night is better!

My misery does not like company! Even though I go through a lot I do not wish it on others.

She just being HONEST. Tired of it ALL

Have a good one.

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

Little Girl Lost

Hello All,

I wrote this a couple years ago. It is one of my favorites!!! Wanted to share again. hope you like and enjoy it.

Lost Little Girl

Little lost girl

Fighting to find her way

Lost with no direction

Sad eyes, heart hurting, mind racing

Wounds open, flesh

Lost little girl

Thrown to the wolves, the sharks, the bad

The ugly, clowns, death

Raging to get free

Surrounded by the unknown, Dark

Lost little girl

Scared, shocked, afraid

Alone, cold, wondering

Mad, darkness, raged, shaking

Lost in a world, no clue

She is lost, no soul, no nothing

Lost little girl

Can she be found???

Thank You For Reading.

****A Poem!!****

Lessons II

There are lessons we learn in life. Whether we like it or not. We have the choice of deciding how we deal with it. We can choose to change things, accept what the lesson is and learn from it. Or we can continue to make the same mistakes. Ignoring what the lesson is and keep going down the wrong path. Again, we have choices. We must choose wisely. With everything in life.

Learn from it and move on and do better.

Lessons… What is life without them!

Have a good one!

Thank you for visiting.

Those Lessons!!! It is LIFE!

I Admit!

I Admit that I am a person who is so stuck in my ways

I Admit that my attitude is not the best, I rage from time to time (SIGH)

I Admit that I can be a little hard to deal with and sometimes need reassurance that I’m still wanted and loved

I Admit that I have a tough time letting go

I Admit that it is hard to let my guard down and for me to fully be open

I Admit that I am afraid to love, to be vulnerable with someone

I Admit that it will be hard to not be in control all the time, when I feel the need to want to control everything

I Admit that I can be toxic in a way when I shut down and shut off from the world. I do not want to be bothered with anything or anybody. I really would not talk to anyone for days. I feel its toxic because I should just address shit instead of running a away and shutting down my emotions (BIG TRUTH)

I Admit that I have major trust issues and sometimes I just don’t believe what a person says sometimes

I Admit that it would be hard to let a man come into my life and take lead, also ADMIT this is something I will definitely work on

I Admit that when I do love someone, I LOVE HARD and care way too much

I Admit that when I find REAL LOVE I would be willing to make changes that I need to make for that right one

I Admit that I do not have all my shit together

I Admit that I feel like grief has taking over my life

I Admit that I get lost in my head, replaying a lot from the past

I Admit I am trying and a work in progress, I am healing and indeed working on me

I Admit that I am willing to change things that serve no good in my life

I Admit guilt to things I cannot change

I Admit I am always me

I Admit my truths here and now, BARE it ALL

My truths are here, LAID OUT

How about you???? What do you ADMIT?


Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

Battle With Myself II

Battle with Myself II

Still here battling the

Inner me

Scars that scream out

Damn these struggles

Even with them I

Try to rise above

Within the struggles





Remain positive

Stand my ground

Battles that I try

To overcome

Try not to

Let it keep

Me down

Get the grasp

Of life



The world

Even with these battles

I am becoming

One with me

Grown woman

Inner me


It will not last long


That is what they say


Do not stay

They leave wounds

Battle in me

Going to

Go down

I will keep



Who comes against me

Taking them as they come


Life battles

I will win

Even with

The demons within

The dark side of ME

Still this

Battle within myself

Will subside.

A work in progress

Or maybe


Battle with myself continues….

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.

**A Poem**