Tag Archives: Prayers

MOM

Want to say Happy Heavenly Birthday to my mom. Even though I am sad and still hurt that she is not here I am going to be strong today. Do my writing like I know she wants me to continue to do. Really wish I can hear her voice but again I am going to make it through this day with happy memories of her. Missing her so much and still praying for healing and strength. I love and miss you, mom. Just Showing love to my mom. And know strength is needed badly. Prayers going up

Blessings all

Thank you for reading.

Forever LOVE

Wednesday Night!

Wednesday Night..LOVE

Hope all is going good with everyone. Just want to wish you all happiness and love.

Praying for better days. Hope the healing process continues. Sending love tonight to those who feel they are not loved. You Are! You are strong and can make it through please do not give up trust I have been down too many times, prayer helps. Pray for strength and guidance.

Wishing you all Peace, Love, Happiness, and Blessings.

Goodnight, People!!

Thanks!!

Ugh!! Miss OverThinker..

Hello All

Tonight, I am too much in my head. So much going on lately, with personal and work as well as my business. I have so many decisions to make in the next week and a half about my new business, and I am wrecking my mind about it. It gets hectic doing it all on your own (SIGH). Sometimes I feel stuck. Over analyzer. Miss overthinker, as always. Haven’t been meeting my writing goals either my mood has completely been down, and been overthinking that, so I have to work on that. And that’s not all I am overthinking about. My mom’s birthday is coming up and the emotions have started already. And I am constantly thinking about her all the memories and her smile. A crazy and lonely night for me. Yeah, soooooo much going on up in my head…Feel likes too much weight I am carrying. Guess it is bedtime for me. I am a mess right now and just want to curl up somewhere and cry it all out…. I wish I could stop all this damn overthinking and thinking on too much at once. Yall know I have to vent it out!

This too shall pass! Lord be with me.

With that being said I am going to sleep and pray on it Whew just need a breather.

Hope you all are having a good night.

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

One day at a time!

Sometimes things happen in life that is out of our control and at times it can be hard to deal with. Having to deal with all the emotions that come from different situations in your life can be difficult. Trust I know. Take it one day at a time. Take deep breaths, pray.

Trust your healing process and know that everything will be ok. Take it one day at a time. If you feel you need to rest, take a break do that, calm yourself it will be okay.

In life sometimes it’s best to slow down and focus on your mental health. Make sure you are good. Take time for you. Have strength and courage. Have faith. Be kind to yourself and trust I know it’s hard when taking care of a family but it is important. Be a gentle you, a more focused you. I am still healing and I know that sometimes it is ok to not be okay but pick yourself back up. Learning to love me more everyday and wish the same for others. Again I am still healing and a work in progress.

Again take it one day at a time.

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

More by Ray’Elaine!!!!

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Loss and Grief

Loss and Grief.

Why?

Grief is hard to deal with and it is a stressful and overwhelming prolonged process, depending on the person. Grief can take over sometimes. Dealing with the stages of grief acceptance, denial, depression, anger, bargaining, and shock leaves a person feeling down and lost and sometimes no sense of direction when dealing with it all. These stages come to you at any given time. Grieving and feeling like maybe you could have done something different is so draining. Just want to talk about it. Something everyone experienced and would like to share mine.

It has been nine and a half months since my mom has passed. I have often shared my feelings on it on this blog. I am still healing. There have been some really bad and dark days where I did not know what was going to happen to myself or if I would make it through the day. Some days I think of the happy memories and sometimes that helps deal with the pain of it all. Often question why and ask for understanding. I tell you this grieving thing is hard. Thoughts and feelings just pop up at any time and no matter how hard I try to stop the feeling it just does not work at times, guess that is life. Holidays are extremely hard and emotional my mom was a person who was big on holidays and always wanted to celebrate. She would make her own decorations art and craft was her hobby, she loved making pinatas, especially for her grandkid’s birthdays. During holidays and birthdays, I have to try and remember the 4 R’s which are to relax, re-orient, rely, and remember and try to be calm and positive. Yeah, so some days I think of all that and how it is no more of that. This grief thing is tricky you think you are okay and then you are not. I do write about my feelings on it a lot because writing is an outlet and the feelings are so strong and I do not have anyone to talk to but my notebooks, and blog. It is weird how some places I do not want to go to because they were her favorite places to go and shop or eat. Do yall think that is crazy? I try some days to overcome it, but it is a challenge I get anxious. And not to mention I grieve over my grandma still who passed when I was about 12 or 13, we were close, so I am always thinking about them both and I know they are together in heaven.

I know in life we will experience the loss of a loved one or any type of loss. That does not mean it is easy to get over, it seems like it gets worse I am constantly thinking about her and wanting to talk to her. Man, grief sucks a lot and I freaking hate it. Another reason I like to write about it is that if I stopped writing my mom will be highly upset, she was a big supporter she wanted me to write her life story and, she had ideas to do books for kids. I miss her so much and our talks. my writing comes from my grandma she uses to write poetry and I use to read them and wanted to start writing on my own.  Grief Sucks yeah, I will keep stating that

I know for a fact of course in this life and world that I am not alone dealing with loss and grief. It is not easy at all. Especially still having to work and take care of my family, I feel so empty sometimes and often want to be alone in my bed. Not only do I have to deal with just my feelings on the loss but my kid’s and siblings’ feelings also. Have to make sure they are doing okay. It gets hard, I am still hurt and feel confused, feel pained. Again, grief sucks a lot

I pray we all heal from losing someone, I pray we have the strength to make it through those tough days. I pray we find peace and happiness as we are healing. Must take it slow and give yourself time to fully understand everything. Just wanted to touch on this topic I know that people do not like to deal with it or maybe hear about it. But it is a part of life whether we like it or not. Again, to those grieving, I pray for you and your family.  Praying helps and with time heals. One day at a time……Damn loss and grief

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading

**Honestly not that long of a post and this really took me three days to write..**

No More Tears

Learning to be okay

With my past

I often tell myself

No more tears

Learning to let go

Of the tight hold

The past has over me

Again, I say

No more tears

Want it all to be forgotten

Blocked out my mind

Struggling to move on

No more tears

For those who caused pain

No more tears

For my benefit

Let it go Ray

Do not let it define you

No more tears

Tired of being tied down

No more I say

I have to gain control

No more tears

Be myself, be free

No more questioning why

All cried out I am

Stay strong

Stand tall, rise above my past

Be proud, wear my scars

I say to myself, no, nope, done

No More Tears.

Blessing and Love.

Thank you for reading.