Want to say Happy Heavenly Birthday to my mom. Even though I am sad and still hurt that she is not here I am going to be strong today. Do my writing like I know she wants me to continue to do. Really wish I can hear her voice but again I am going to make it through this day with happy memories of her. Missing her so much and still praying for healing and strength. I love and miss you, mom. Just Showing love to my mom. And know strength is needed badly. Prayers going up
Have you ever felt unhappy, filled with rage? You just want those who hurt you to hurt also. You want them to suffer and feel all the pain you feel plus more. Past pain, relationships, anybody. Sometimes I think of revenge, wanting to inflict torture and pain, to see them squirm, see them feel helpless, powerless, weak, lost, and scared. I want them to feel it all. That is how I am feeling at the moment I know some people can relate and some can’t **Shrugs**. Payback.
It is crazy how they are out living there lives, they suffered no consequences, out and free. And me I feel I am still trapped in that time in that pain. Replaying the shit that was done and it still feels like no time has passed. Crazy world I feel this way and must deal with it every day. Yes, I have…
Been three days and I am still in shock. I feel like I am coming and going. I am lost and hurting right now and I know it will take some time to heal. Such a beautiful person gone so soon. I love you mom and you will be missed. Again I am still shocked and haven't been in the mood to do anything. I just really want to be alone I am taking this hard and wish I could stop thinking so much. Feelings at the moment: Shocked, Lost, Hurt, Sad, Raged, Alone, Depressed, and more. Got to take this one day at a time and I know it will not be easy.
Praying for strength, guidance, understanding, patience wisdom, and healing for me and my family. Praying that things will get better with time. Venting and getting out how I feel right now and writing this took time. My thoughts, My Feelings. Just Write!