My mood right now is I should be in bed but the damn music is taking me places. Enjoying some old school R&B. Some smoke some drank. I am in a zone and don’t want out of it. I’m chilling and jamming having fun by my damn self lol. Tonight it’s just music and I she lost in it. I’m letting loose a little SO what.
How is your night? How was your weekend? Do you get lost in the music? Ready for Monday?
Anyway that is my night. Feeling good for now. Have a good one. 🖤❤️🧡💛💜🤎💙💚
Content at the moment Not sad, Not happy Content Content at the moment Relaxed, Chilled, Calm Content Content at the moment In a zone, really not seeing much Content In my little world Not speaking, Not thinking This night I am just Content…..
So, I started my day early this morning woke up at 5 in the morning and could not go back to sleep so I got out the notebook and pen and continued my brainstorming. of course, I got to writing. After that I began writing for my book. Was writing for hours and happy that I got some work done and I do not feel like it was rushed and happy with what I came up with. So, 2 hours ago I decided to take a break from writing till later tonight and now movie time.
I am watching some of my favorite movies first up was American Gangster, then some of Deep Cover, now watching Harlem Nights laughing my but off. Next is Hoodlum then later Black Panther. In that order!! Just a few of my favorites, with some of my favorite snacks. Then back to writing.
I am having a relaxed day so far and enjoying this Sunday. How are you today? What are your Sunday plans? What are your favorite movies? Hope you all enjoy the rest of your day. Stay safe and blessings.
My heart and mind are heavy, my heart hurts. I feel broken and I have been trying to remain positive and pray about my life and the feelings I have. I have made post about being positive and taking care of self, but lately nothing is working for me. I feel so empty and lost. Since my mom has passed away it seems that everything in my life, the past has surfaced. I am constantly thinking of the bad, cruel, and all the shitty things that has happened to me since I was a child hate this feeling and I do not know why everything is coming to mind and heart. I try to keep busy, so I do not think about stuff, but no matter what it happens, I’m thinking and sad and crying. Another thing is the nightmares which that right there is scary some things happened to me, and I still have nightmares about it and also nightmares of me seeing my mom’s lifeless body. That is why I have not been sleeping really. I see my mom and her condition before she passed. I was taking care of her while she was in hospice care from home and watching her day-by-day change and watching her body fail and seeing her take her last breath the look on her face and all, that is what I see when I am trying to sleep. It was so hard to see and horrible going through it. It is still hard for me it has been four months and I’m not over it at all. I do not know what to do. Yes, I am not going to lie I am mad, mad at the world, and mad at myself. I have been feeling like I do not want to be here on this earth. Like, why cannot I shake these feelings, I do not like feeling this way, all I do lately is cry, cry, cry, cry. Why is it so hard? I have been too much in my mind and in the past for some weeks now, and it has me all messed up, very emotional.
Damn what is going on with me? For those who has lost someone how do you go on? How to you heal?
It is hard and I feel very lonely and scared ad mainly scared of myself. Again, trying to make it through the days but it seems my life is spiraling. Sigh, what to do? Letting it all out tonight. My feelings, my thoughts sorry to those who feel it is a dark and negative blog entry. I am my true self and I express my true. Just going through a lot and emotional and need to vent. Thank you for reading.
Hello people, how is your night going? Mine is so- so. Doing some venting tonight. And just sitting here thinking.
It really annoys me. I am the type of person who is there for everybody around me, being a listening ear, and just being there, doing for them. But when I need a listening ear or just for someone to be there for me, I get nothing. Nothing at all, no one is there. I feel messed up and not good enough. Just lonely me I guess the only person you can truly depend on is yourself, such a true statement. Ugh sigh venting tonight. Sunday night venting…