Monthly Archives: December 2020

The New Year!

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The New Year

Stepping into the new year I have some goals that I want to accomplish. I want to leave the unnecessary drama and heartache in 2020. Yes, I know I will not be able to control certain things, because things happen in life, I am hopeful. I told myself to pray more, I know that with God by my side anything is possible, and I have faith. One of my goals for the new year is to write more, and possible release my first book, I am motivated and reading to put my work out there. Another goal of mine that I have been praying on is to get closer with my family, and we are able to see each other and catch up. Hopefully, we can that will be great. I want to pray for healing of the world going into the new year, I know so much is going on in the world and everybody can use a little prayer. I pray that people can get their lives back on track. Also going into the new year, I hope that I make better decisions and be the best mother I can be and be my best. Again, praying for the best for everyone. Do you have goals for the new year? Are you ready for 2021? Do you have a new year resolution? Thank you for reading.

#NewYear

Always Something

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Always Something

Wow, man this day has been crazy. Today has been a long and stressful day just freaking scariness and craziness. I got calls that were unexpected and full of bad news. I feel like it is too much to deal with, feel suffocated and nowhere to go. I woke up happy in a good mood, very cheerful and then Boom it all goes to shit. I am shaking and can not stop crying and thinking too much. Just feel so out of control and hopeless. I do not like feeling this way at all, not being able to be there and help those who I love. It is too much going on in my life right now it is like I try to be happy and life pulls me back. I know that all I can do for now is pray about the situation and wish for the best. My head hurts, my heart hurts, and nobody to talk to about it, it has been a hard day I am just tired I will continue to pray. What to do? Just venting tonight. Too much on my mind.

Thank you for reading.

Tomorrow

Holiday

Wow I cannot believe that tomorrow is Christmas. To me it just does not seem like it is the holidays. Just seems like another day. Maybe because so much is going on in the world that it can be hard to get in the Christmas spirit, hard to focus or be happy. I am just sitting here thinking of memories from when I was a kid and me and my siblings could not wait till Christmas. We used to stay up all night days before Christmas and talk about what we think our gifts were. There were some nights were we just stared at the tree and was overly excited ready for Christmas day. I miss the old days and how things used to be. Since I got older it has never been the same. Does anybody else feel like this? Again, I am sitting here going down memory lane and thinking heavy. On the other hand, I cannot wait to see my kids faces light up when they open their gifts. I am trying to get in the spirit. Are you ready for Christmas? How are you dealing with everything?

Thank you for reading.

Rage II

Poems, Short Stories

Rage II

This fire, this hurt, this pain, sadness built up

I just want to let it out

My body, my mind wants bloody revenge

Rage inside and I do not care who I hurt, do not care of the outcome

Rage roaring if you are in my view, tears will be cried, blood will be shed

Rage causing me to lose focus, I cannot see, its darkness

Rage want me to react

Rage got me drowning, drinking constantly

Rage inside of me ready to burst

Flames everywhere

Hurt, pain everywhere

Rage rage rage as it continues to build

Damn rage inside of me

Thank you reading.

Ray’Elaine

I Am Enough

Poems, ,

I Am Enough

I look in the mirror and I know that

I am enough

Strong, beautiful

Independent and vibrant

I am enough

Smart, amazing, fabulous, creative, and funny

No one can hold me down

I am enough

Even if you do not agree, even if you do not like me

I am enough

Standing tall, confident in me

I am me the lover, the fighter, the go getter, all business, the Queen

I am enough

I look in the mirror and know the person starring back is strong and she is enough

Ray’Elaine

Thank you for reading!

#SelfLove #IAmEnough

This feeling again, UGH

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This feeling again, damn maybe I just need to talk to this man and let my feeling be known. another damn night I am spending with him on my mind. It has been like this for days and do not know why. This man probably does not even think about me or care about me but here my stupid self is just in my feelings about him. Sometimes I think I should pickup the phone and call him to hear his voice, I really want him beside me, but oh well. Wish I can get him off my mind, like seriously. Thinking out loud and very emotional, man getting attached and getting your feelings involved sucks. Yes, I hate that I feel this way I feel like I cannot focus I just see him, I can not help it. I just wanted to let this out and I need to learn to keep my feelings in check. Damn, damn, damn this man, I think I am in love (OH MY). I am rambling, need help. What should I do?

Ugh this damn feeling again. Thank you for reading

In Your Arms!

Poems, thoughts, , , , , , , , , ,

In Your Arms!

Your arms

Baby we are one

Laying in your arms is life

Laying in your arms without a care in the world

No one else matters, it is just us baby

Being with you makes my heart smile

Makes me feel hopeful, joyful, and happy

Laying in your arms starring in your eyes

I see love, our dreams, our world

Baby we are one

Our souls together forever, we got each other

Laying in your arms is all I want

I love being with you

Laying in your arms, I am me, my fullself

My love, my heart, my soul, my mind is

Forever in your arms!

Thank You For Reading.