Tag Archives: Confession

Confession II

Daily writing prompt
What’s something most people don’t know about you?

This is a good question. Though I was uncertain about writing and sharing this, I decided to just do it. So here goes. I feel like this is also a confession post. 

So, about 17/18 years ago when I was 18 and 19 years old, I felt that I was in the wrong body. I felt like I was not myself and didn’t like that feeling at all. I then started to think about transitioning into a man. Yes, I was thinking about being a transgender male. When I was a teenager, my mom would have a fit about me wanting to shop in the boys’ section. My brothers would be mad at me for stealing their clothes, lol. Seriously, boxers, jeans, etc. 

When I say this was on my mind constantly, it was. I was always doing research about it at the time. Looking up different surgeries to have and what types of hormone pills I would have to take. I also was looking into therapy about the whole thing. Of course, the cost of it all. 

I think about this a lot now days because it was something that I strongly wanted to do. There was fear in place at the time, thinking of the negatives about the matter and what my family would think. I think about the what-ifs of the matter if I would have gone through with it. 

Sometimes, I still feel like I am in the wrong body and wish I had gone through with it. Now, I just accept that I didn’t and try to be okay with my decision, though I really am not. 

Well, that is something people do not know about me…..Confessions lol 

I had to get that off my chest. It has really been on my mind lately like crazy. Questioning myself like should I have done it or not? Well, that’s it. Have a good one! 

Of course, a little vent session with a great writing prompt. 

Do you have any regrets? What is something most people don’t know about you? Care to share? 

Blessings and Love! 

Thank you for reading. 

Confession I

Hello everyone

It is confession time and yes, I am sharing this and honestly, I don’t know if I should be embarrassed about this or not lol. Share and Confess

So, I am 36 years old, and next August, I will be the big 37, and guess what? I still do not know how to drive. Yeah, crazy, right. I have a fear of driving and also being in cars, traffic period. My sister recently asked me why and what the problem is she feels me not driving is an issue. And honestly, it is kind of is I do have 2 kids and have to get around more easily. To get around, I take buses and Lyfts/cabs, and even in those, I am scared. She says that I am putting my life in others’ hands instead of driving myself. I feel even if you drive yourself, you are still in others’ hands because you do not know how a person will be on the road. The fear started when I was a teenager, I had gotten into a couple of wrecks, and since then, I had just been scared. I have tried only twice. The first time, I was 26 years old and drove around the block twice and was like I am done. And the second time, it was just down the street, and I stopped myself and didn’t want to finish. Want to get over this fear and take those steps to learn how to drive and be confident in it. Try to tell myself to just do it but it is not easy for me. I probably get made fun of it due to my age and not being able to get anywhere I want. My kids even tell me I need to drive. It is so frustrating having this fear and I don’t know what to do about it. Want to be able to drive so I can take my kids places without paying extra for cabs and waiting for them. I am going to do some research on how I can calm myself and my mind and not think negatively when it comes to driving and cars. I kind of hate that it is this way and constantly question myself on why not just try. Why not get in a car and freaking drive ugghh? I annoy myself, I tell you lol.

I wanted to write this because lately, with a new year coming up, it has been on my mind. I would love to be able to move around more freely and want to get it done, stop being scared and a baby about it. Maybe I should take a driving class or some type of therapy. I don’t know. I must figure it out seriously. HELP!

Is anybody else struggling to face their fears? Care to share those fears? Any tips for me?

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.