Monthly Archives: January 2021

Big World

Big World

Such a big world

Yet I feel so small

Finding a place to fit in

Feeling like I do not belong

Such a big world

Great possibilities, A great future

Yet too scared to take that leap

Maybe I can make it, maybe I can’t

Such a big world

Nice and friendly people, Love all around

Or so you think, there are crooks out there

Such a big world

However, a world I am scared to seek

Thank you for reading.

Whew. These last couple days….

Whew…..

Have you ever felt like you wanted to take someone’s pain away? You wish you can do more for them? That is my feelings lately. at the moment I feel helpless and I can not make the situation better. There is nothing I can do and speechless. I am praying that it gets better. I do not like feeling this way, I am not in control. Besides feeling helpless I feel lost and confused also do not know what to do. I haven’t’ really been eating or sleeping the last couple days just be up pacing and thinking since I got bad news. Heart is heavy and I have vent about it. It is too much going on right now. Praying and more praying, having faith. Lord give me strength and heal my family. My thoughts, my feelings letting it out. I thank you for reading.

Whew. Woww. BREATHE

I Smile II

I Smile II

I smile to keep from crying

Even when too, much is going on around me

I smile to hide my true self from people

I smile it is better than a wet and sad face

I smile pretending, do not want anyone to know

I smile to try to get through the day

I smile while wanting to get away

And with all that and more

I smile!

Thank you for reading.

Not really a smile, Kisses!

Strong

Strong

I am strong it is all in my walk

I am strong it is all in my talk

I am strong head held high

I am strong and confident

I am strong during the good

I am strong during the bad

I am strong: Self-assured, thoughtful, realistic, one of a kind, never failing and grateful

I am strong!

S- Self Assured

T- Thoughtful

R- Realistic

O- One of a kind

N- Never Failing

G- Grateful

Thank you for reading.

Drift/Daydream

Drifting off into a daze

Thinking of a better situation

Daydreaming of a better life

Drifting off trying to

Find a place where I belong

Daydreaming of my happy place if any

Drifting off wondering

What is to come, what is to happen?

Daydreaming of my future

Drifting off just to not think

Daydreaming of what can be

Thank you for reading.

Upfront- Deal With It!

Being up front!

Oh man you try to tell people how you really feel about them or the situation, not to be mean or cruel, but to be real and honest with them. Why do some people ignore that and be like “oh your just talking, you don’t mean what you’re saying” like really?

I am saying this because my children’s father cannot accept that I do not want to be in a relationship with him. We have not been together in four years and yes, all this time he has been trying to get back together. I just do not understand why he is like this. I want nothing from him, Nothing at all. I wish he will get it, understand it, and move the hell on with his life. Last year I tried to hook him up with someone lol that did not work. To the point where it is so annoying, I usually ignore him, but it is too much. The begging and lying about shit to get me to take him back, trying not to snap on him, but it is so hard.

I do not feel like I am wrong or doing something hurtful, I mean we were in a relationship for almost 10 years and I gave him chance after chance and tried my hardest to make it work despite how I was treated by him, (CRAZY) it is like I tried and got nothing but heartache and headache. I am so over being in a relationship with dude I just want to co- parent and enjoy my single life. Why is it so hard for him to understand? Our relationship was bad and very toxic. Yeah, I am venting about this again maybe because I really do not understand it. Thank you for reading.