It has been some days without me writing or actually doing anything. I have been in a bad mood and trying to shake these feelings. This grieving shit is annoying it’s understandable but so annoying. One minute I am okay, able to get things done and I am content, than the next I am a emotional wreck ugh. Wanna just SCREAM. Yes I know it is a process and healing and getting over things take some time. I just hate being emotional and having these feelings. I’m a person who don’t like to show my emotions or feel them uhh. Some days it takes a lot out of me, feel so drained and sad. I know I have to be strong for myself and my family, but it is so hard grieving and being on top of everything. I guess I have to continue to pray and take it one day at a time and trust that it will all get better.
Today I am going to try and stay busy and not think too much on negative things or sad things. Just breathe, relax, and pray. I hope you all have a good day I know I will try too. It’s almost Friday!!!
Chaotic day and stressed day for me well not really lol it is all in my freaking head. I say stressed because my feelings and emotions have been everywhere having damn anxiety all day. I know the reason is me missing and worrying about my kids. Panic and full of nerves. I stated in a previous post that the weekend was my kids first time going out of town without me even though they are with their father, and I trust him my nerves are still bad. Also, they were supposed to be back today but had car trouble and crazy I know because I had got pissed about it knowing that these things can sometimes happen. Need a damn drink or 3 lol I know they are doing okay and having fun I have been talking to them since they left. Why am I like this? I annoy myself by worrying all the time. Feel out of control and that can be why anxiety is in play. My kids seem like they are enjoying themselves and seem like they don’t even miss me lol.
I know its just me with my trust and control issues. Seriously need to calm down, maybe a joint or a drink will do and of course writing, get my mind off it all. A little venting tonight about nothing really lol. Have a good one all.
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