Heart Guarded…

Sometimes I hate that I am so guarded, and I keep everything in. emotions are bottled up and I do not show that side of me. I do not fully put my feelings out there because I have feelings of being wronged and hurt. I do not like to love and be vulnerable, people will use that against you. That is why I guard my mind and my heart. It is true that I can be afraid of rejection. I do not trust easily either I have major trust issues and I know that is holding me back, but I cannot just fully put my trust in others. I am also guarded because I feel like people have negative motives, and I do not like that shit. I am guarded because I have not healed from my past, I need to let go and move on. Is it bad that I cannot let my guard down? Working on changing that, maybe just do not want to get hurt anymore I’ so freaking over it. I am just thinking out loud, my crazy thoughts. SMH it how I am feeling though. My heart is guarded. I need help!

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