Hello all, my blog peeps. Tonight, I am not cool…..
So, I just posted a poem earlier I wrote about me being tired of my past having a tight ass hold on me. Is there anyone else like this? Where you seem like you cannot escape it, the past? Sometimes I hate that I replay past situations in my head. Then here I am on a damn emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes I just want revenge, I want to do harm, I want to unleash the beast. It gets crazy in this head of mines, and I try to contain it all. I also question why am I like this, why can’t I let it all go? Ugh. I just want some people to fucking suffer. Is that a bad thing? Damn these scars I have.
It is too much right now. I need to get back to focus.
Okay! Whew had to let that out. I am still a work in progress and have thoughts like this from time to time. Was triggered a little today and it had me in a mood. Just venting don’t know if I am the only one. I must continue to pray. I felt close to the edge.
Praying on it and hopefully sleep good and better afterwards. Of course, my blog is my therapy. Please don’t judge me. Just had a fucked-up moment. LET IT Out!!!!
Venting….I really am trying to keep my faith and belief. I try to have patience and not think negatively. But when so much is going on in your life, and shit happens back-to-back it is hard to think positive. I feel like I am in a trance a bad one. I am just not okay today and trying to pray, trying to write, hoping that things will get better. I am at a loss right now thinking about my mom and grandpa and of course my day-to-day struggles and dealing with other people’s shit. My non-exitant love life. Feelings/ emotions are everywhere tonight. Seriously!
Ugh, what a day, what a night. Trying my hardest to not overthink. Just keep writing and keep busy…Hate when this happens but will make it through. Breathe and relax I say to myself.
Push through it no matter what. Venting a little sorry. Mind is just going right now. Hope you all are having a good weekend and making those goals. And having a fun-filled weekend. Tomorrow is a new day to begin fresh.
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