Monthly Archives: February 2021

Alone

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Alone!

Just sitting here thinking like always lol and I am thinking about being alone lol. Yeah seriously. Lately it had been rough, and I think I need to get away and be by myself, maybe a week or two. It has been stressful at work and I have been getting terribly upset by it. Personal life as well is stressful now just need a little break. I know I am not the only one. You just want to tell people to leave you alone and let you be. I know that will not happen soon just wishful thinking. Sometimes I want to turn my phone off and just sleep, but I have stuff to do and I have a family to take care of, I am always busy busy busy, and my mind and body feels it. A spa day, some wine, a vacation somewhere nice would be great. A place that is quiet and relaxing and I can breathe easy and ease my mind will also be great.

Alone with me is what I want. Okay I am just venting here for a while sorry. I know we all have those days and if you are I am praying for you . I am about to write, get some chapters finished and relax I thank you for reading and enjoy your evening.

Thank you!

Numb… — Just Write

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At this point I feel helpless, hopeless, soul less. Feel numb to it all my days and nights are a blur. I am constantly pacing and can not focus. Music helps a little. Heart is steadily racing and thinking the worst. It is really bad cause I don’t have anyone to talk to and I […]

Numb… — Just Write

Man, man, man going through a lot right now it is too much. REPOSTING because I am feeling this way right now ugh can’t focus and very very scared. I don’t know what to do. Please Pray for me.

Thank You

Love I Want!!

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Love I want!!!

Feeling that special touch from that person you want, you need.

Feeling the love from their actions. Knowing that you are in good hands.

No worries love and trust have our backs.

The look of love in our eyes the way we stare at each other, see that the love is there.

Having faith that our love will be forever.

Everlasting.

Our souls touch, speak, hear, and see each other’s.

A love like this is ordinary.

A love like this I want to keep.

Dedication, trust, love, communication is what it takes and more.

This is a love I want to work towards

A love I look forward to.

Real pure love, this is the love I want. Real real real genuine love.

I want it!!!!

Thank you for reading.

Numb…

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At this point I feel helpless, hopeless, soul less. Feel numb to it all my days and nights are a blur. I am constantly pacing and can not focus. Music helps a little. Heart is steadily racing and thinking the worst. It is really bad cause I don’t have anyone to talk to and I have to put on a happy face through all the pain I’m going through. Damn this feeling I freaking hate it. Emotions are up and down, feel like I am losing it. Only way I feel a little calm is when I am writing and the last couple days that has been hard to do. Knowing that you are losing someone is a lot to deal with and I am not taking it well at all, on top of the daily struggles and taking care of a family. Anxiety been at a high just craziness. Ugh calm down and breathe. Sorry people it’s how I feel right now got to let it out, forever venting, my feelings, my thoughts, my life. Just Write about it. Thank you for reading.

Bottom of the Bottle!

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Bottom of the bottle

Bottle of liquor in hand, bottle to lips

Way gone but still going

Problems? What problems? That don’t matter to me

Bottle in hand, bottle to lips

Music taking me places, I am in a daze

My own world, My own damn rules

Bottle in hand, bottle to lips

I feel numb, nothing can touch me

Stress? What stress? Yeah, I do not care

Bottle in hand, bottle to lips

Wondering should I stop, should I care

But I do not want to feel anything, or see anything

Bottle in hand, bottle to lips

Life what fucking life? Forget all battles

To drunk to notice anything

Damn is my life at the bottom of this bottle in my hand

Should I continue to put it to my lips

Bottle in hand, bottle to lips

Drunk and gone, gone, gone gone, gone

Damn this bottle in my hand, damn the bottom of this bottle….

Thank you for reading!

***Just a Poem!!!***

Prayers!

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Prayers

Today I want to pray for those who are dealing with this bad weather and the snowstorms and ice storms all over. I am in Minnesota so somewhat used to this weather, but I have heard that states like Texas who is getting hit with this weather and this is new for them. Just praying for those who do not know what to do and who are facing challenges due to what is going on. Also want to pray for those who is dealing with a loved one or their self-due to covid-19. Praying for love and healing for this world. It seems so much is going on. Sending love and prayers to everyone. Remember to love yourself and those around especially during the hard times, things are a little crazy at the moment. Also praying for my family, the situation with my mom is not getting better. I am scared and lost, lately the days has been a blur. Praying for better days for us all. Just venting letting it out, prayers going up. Hope you have Peace, Love, Happiness, Blessings.

Thank for supporting me and thank you for reading.

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FLOW

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FLOW!

F- Following my own lead, following my visions, my dreams, feeling powerful, facing myself

L- Learning and growing, letting go of the past, listen to my voice more often, loving myself

O- Observe everything around me, open my mind, my heart, open to new and better ideas

W- Willing to do what it takes to achieve my dream, I have wisdom, wishful, working on a better life for my kids and myself, work hard, a woman that is worthy

That is me. I go with the flow of things and wish for the best. Learning as I go!

Just go with the FLOW!!

Hope you enjoy this.

Thank you for reading.

Hay Happy Wednesday

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Hello people! Happy Wednesday!

It has been some days and I haven’t been writing, but here I am back at it. Last week was a crazy week and my weekend was busy. Went on a trip with my family and did not get a chance to write. How are you all doing today? Want to talk about the trip and my thought and feeling of course.

Weekend Trip

So, on Saturday morning my mom, my sister, and my brothers myself and our kids drove to Kansas City Missouri, a 6- 8-hour drive. Yeah, we lost the Super Bowl this past Sunday, but it’s still GO Chiefs!! Okay back to it lol the reason for our trip was for our mom to see her family she really wanted to see her dad. It was a nice trip although it was a short one. I was happy to see my grandpa it has been about 5 years since I last seen him so that was cool. Also seeing my cousins who I have not seen in over 10 years (Crazy) even though we didn’t get a chance to hangout seeing their faces and talking to them for a little bit was great. Even though the long drive with kids had my anxiety at a high I enjoyed the trip. I was happy that my mom got to see her family and her home so overall it was cool.

My emotions are still everywhere but I am dealing with it. Taking it one day at a time and doing my breathing exercises. Like I stated above I have not been writing, so I am going to try to write an entry for my gratitude journal, and then write and focus on my book. I have been slacking too much lately and I need to get back into my groove. Still stuck on a chapter for the book but I will push through and make it happen. Also going over my monthly goals and probably add more and make some adjustments. Due to what is going on and me thinking about the unknown I am trying to keep busy and not think too much. What are your plans for the day? Remember to love yourself always and love those close to you. Wish you all Love, Peace, Happiness, and Blessings.

Thank you for reading.