Tag Archives: life

Rough Day…..

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Rough day yesterday!

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I had to take a moment for myself. I sat on my bed rocking back and forth and taking deep breaths. Minutes before that I was in attack mode. I felt hurt and just rage and wanted to do damage to that person. Ugh I do not like having this feeling and I am glad I walked away because the way I was feeling was madness and did not want to do anything stupid. So, I had to take some deep breaths and put on some music to calm myself. I hate that I let someone get the best of me and got me out of control for a minute. I also had to pray for strength, I was a different person and had to check myself really quick. Right now, I am still a little upset, but happy the situation is over and nothing bad happened. I kept it cool. Very thankful and proud of myself for having the strength to walk away.

I will continue to pray for strength and guidance. Really trying to have peace, get to my happiness. Have you ever been in a scary situation before? How did you deal with it?

Thank you for reading.

#JustWrite

This feeling again, UGH

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Feeling this Again…..

This feeling again, damn maybe I just need to talk to this man and let my feeling be known. another damn night I am spending with him on my mind. It has been like this for days and do not know why. This man probably does not even think about me or care about me but here my stupid self is just in my feelings about him. Sometimes I think I should pickup the phone and call him to hear his voice, I really want him beside me, but oh well. Wish I can get him off my mind, like seriously. Thinking out loud and very emotional, man getting attached and getting your feelings involved sucks. Yes, I hate that I feel this way I feel like I cannot focus I just see him, I can not help it. I just wanted to let this out and I need to learn to keep my feelings in check. Damn, damn, damn this man, I think I am in love (OH MY). I am rambling, need help. What should I do?

Ugh this damn feeling again.

Thank you for reading.

#JustWrite #Love

In My Heart

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In My Heart

In my heart I will remember your love

In my heart I will always see and feel your smile

In my heart I will keep your voice, your words

In my heart I will always see and feel you

In my heart I will keep your memories

In my heart, in my mind you will

Forever be missed

In my heart you will always be

I love you always mom

Sill in my heart

Thank you for reading.

This Day….

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This Day..Trying

Today I woke up at 4 in the morning screaming and crying out for my mom. Felt scared and lonely. I miss her so much. Wishing I can give her a call I so bad want to hear her voice. I miss her beautiful smile and being around her. Today is so emotional besides missing and thinking about my mom, I am thinking about 9-11 what happened on this day 20 years ago. I still remember where I was at and what I was doing. So, devastating, I remember that was on my mind for months. So much lost and pain that day. It is a day I feel will always be remembered. Again, today has been emotional and I have been trying to do different things to keep my mind off things. It has been hard and as of right now my hear is heavy and all I want to do is drink the pain away. Just a sad day. Maybe try more writing this evening. I don’t know cannot shake this feeling. Venting and feelings out.

Hope you all are doing okay and having a good day. Praying for us all.

Love, Peace, Happiness, and Blessings

Thank you for reading.

***More by Ray’Elaine***

Shocked….
https://writeblg.com/2021/01/06/prayers-healing-for-all/
Feeling of Life
https://writeblg.com/2021/07/03/bottom-of-the-bottle-2/

Failing/Failure

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Failure…

Hello all,

When you hear the word failure what does it mean to you? To me failure is letting yourself down over and over, not doing what is necessary to succeed, or having things happen in the process of doing what you need or want, and not following your goals or dreams. Yeah, sometimes life steps in and stuff happens that you can not control, it is all about how you recover.

From time to time, I feel like I am failing in life and feel like a loser or failure. When I don’t complete some goals, I feel that I am letting myself down and being lazy even when I’m sick or just feeling down or lazy that day, and when I am not in the mood to write. Feeling like a failure is not okay to me maybe because I tend to be a perfectionist in everything I do. I want everything to be perfect and get pissed when it is not to my standards. Not good. I question myself when failing happens and think about the situation all the time. And of course, I get angry, sad, feel lost, feel like nothing. Always been this way yes even as a child. My parents use to say that I am my own enemy and I hold my own self back. My dad says it constantly and it something that I am very aware of. I know that in life their will be times you will fail, you must keep it moving

I just do not like it, losing, failing, none of it. Is it just me? Failure is not an option is a saying that constantly replays in my mind. Failure is not an option, you get knocked down, brush it off and keep your head up (I tell myself) Simple right?

What do you think? Have a good one! Please feel free to like, comment, and share your thoughts about failure. Love peace, happiness, and blessings all.

Thank you for reading.

Nerves

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Nerves lol

Chaotic day and stressed day for me well not really lol it is all in my freaking head. I say stressed because my feelings and emotions have been everywhere having damn anxiety all day. I know the reason is me missing and worrying about my kids. Panic and full of nerves. I stated in a previous post that the weekend was my kids first time going out of town without me even though they are with their father, and I trust him my nerves are still bad.  Also, they were supposed to be back today but had car trouble and crazy I know because I had got pissed about it knowing that these things can sometimes happen. Need a damn drink or 3 lol I know they are doing okay and having fun I have been talking to them since they left. Why am I like this? I annoy myself by worrying all the time. Feel out of control and that can be why anxiety is in play. My kids seem like they are enjoying themselves and seem like they don’t even miss me lol.

I know its just me with my trust and control issues. Seriously need to calm down, maybe a joint or a drink will do and of course writing, get my mind off it all. A little venting tonight about nothing really lol. Have a good one all.

Happy writing!

Love, Peace, Happiness, and Blessings

Thank you for reading.

September

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New Month

Hello all it is the first day of September. August just flew by here and I am ok with that. Time for new goals for this new month, and fresh starts. Kids start school next week, so I am re doing a schedule for us, hoping to start the month off right. So today I will try not to complain and be grateful and be positive think happy thoughts. Make any necessary changes that need to be made. Overall hoping for the best. Work and writing today also writing out new goals for the weekend and the rest of the month. Happy Wednesday! Happy Writing!

How is your day going so far? Ready for the weekend already? Hope it’s a good day for you all.

Love, Peace, Happiness, and Blessings

Thank you for reading.

Let It Go

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Let It Go

I am learning day by day that it is okay for me to let things go, let go and be free

Let go of the anger

Let go of the lies

Let go of the pain

Let go of those who are toxic to you and your well being

Let go of it all

Let go and open your mind

Let go and open your heart, let go and let God

Let go and welcome sunshine into your life

Let it all go

It is okay and I am learning to move on and continue to love me and have a happy life. Let go of the things that I can not control and take it for what it is. I love the feeling of being happy and at peace. I am letting it all go. I am happy and content!

Thank you for reading!

Happy Thursday!

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Thursday!

Happy Thursday! people. Wishing you love and blessings this beautiful day. I hope you succeed in what you want to accomplish today. Get that to do list done, make time for your self and try to have a relaxed day and yes trust I know that can be hard if you have a lot going on or work is stressful, just breathe through it and pray. Just want to send love and a positive message today.

It’s almost Friday Yay! Have a great day. please feel to like, comment, and share. thank you for reading.

More from Ray’Elaine! Just Write and Be You!

Strong – Just Write (writeblg.com)

I Smile – Just Write (writeblg.com)

I Smile II – Just Write (writeblg.com)

Love That…! – Just Write (writeblg.com)

#JustWrite

Back to school!

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Back to school!!

Morning all, how is it going?

So excited at the moment and yes, a little nervous. My son will be starting middle school, the sixth grade in a week. Today he has a half a day for orientation. Do not know why I am very nervous, but I am even though it is just orientation lol. I cannot believe that I have a child in middle school. Time is going by fast, and they are growing, something that I can’t stop lol. It is a beautiful yet scary thing for me. Crazy. Maybe I am that parent that will not be able to let go.

Even though I feel anxious I am happy for my son. Starting a new grade and at a new school is exciting and a new experience. I am sure he will do great. My daughter will start fifth grade and she is excited also to start the new school year. My kids are growing up and love it (And Scared).

Shout out to all parents who are homeschooling or sending their kids back to school. It is not easy especially with everything going on in this world, but we do what we must for our children. No matter what! Praying for our children that they are safe and praying for strength and guidance.

Are you ready for back to school? Do you feel it is challenging this year? Hope you all have a good day. Blessings! 💙🖤

Thank you for reading.