Tag Archives: Feelings

Letting it all out

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Letting it out…

My heart and mind are heavy, my heart hurts. I feel broken and I have been trying to remain positive and pray about my life and the feelings I have. I have made post about being positive and taking care of self, but lately nothing is working for me. I feel so empty and lost. Since my mom has passed away it seems that everything in my life, the past has surfaced. I am constantly thinking of the bad, cruel, and all the shitty things that has happened to me since I was a child hate this feeling and I do not know why everything is coming to mind and heart. I try to keep busy, so I do not think about stuff, but no matter what it happens, I’m thinking and sad and crying. Another thing is the nightmares which that right there is scary some things happened to me, and I still have nightmares about it and also nightmares of me seeing my mom’s lifeless body. That is why I have not been sleeping really. I see my mom and her condition before she passed. I was taking care of her while she was in hospice care from home and watching her day-by-day change and watching her body fail and seeing her take her last breath the look on her face and all, that is what I see when I am trying to sleep. It was so hard to see and horrible going through it. It is still hard for me it has been four months and I’m not over it at all. I do not know what to do. Yes, I am not going to lie I am mad, mad at the world, and mad at myself. I have been feeling like I do not want to be here on this earth. Like, why cannot I shake these feelings, I do not like feeling this way, all I do lately is cry, cry, cry, cry. Why is it so hard? I have been too much in my mind and in the past for some weeks now, and it has me all messed up, and very emotional.

Damn, what is going on with me? For those who have lost someone, how do you go on? How to you heal?

It is hard and I feel very lonely and scared ad mainly scared of myself. Again, trying to make it through the days but it seems my life is spiraling. Sigh, what to do? Letting it all out tonight. My feelings, my thoughts sorry to those who feel it is a dark and negative blog entry. I am my true self and I express my true. Just going through a lot and emotional and need to vent. Thank you for reading.

My Thoughts!

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My Thoughts (Ugh)

I try my best to keep a clear head and positive thoughts but right now I just feel so low and alone. I feel like somethings will never change, and I have to really accept that, and it is hard. Especially when you work your hardest to make things work out for the better. I just feel so lost right now and do not know what to do. This is so annoying the feeling of hopelessness. And at the moment I have to walk away from the BS it is not worth my peace. Sometimes people just drain you, ugh irritating and painful.

Guess I will try to do some writing and hopefully that will get my mind off things for a while. It is kind of hectic at the moment.

What do you do when you feel this way? Lost? Hopeless? What do you do to relieve stress? How do you get over the pain of someone you love doing you wrong? How do you walk away without feeling bad about it? Why? How? Help!!!

I will continue to pray for strength and guidance because I really need it right not. I will continue to love me through what is going on. Please pray for me. And forgive me for the rambling just sitting here thinking and wanted to share.

This will pass I know just getting the thought out my mind like always. Hope you all are having a good day. Hope you have a good night.

Thank you for reading.

#JustWrite

writeblg.com/2021/07/01/decisions/

My Night of Darkness | Just Write (writeblg.com)

Storms! | Just Write (writeblg.com)

Rage | Just Write (writeblg.com)

Rage II | Just Write (writeblg.com)

These are my feelings and can not shake them…WTF WTF WTF.

Hate this feeling seriously and know others are tired of me too lol

S.N.Q-Quote of the night

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Quotes of the night: Hard Work

Life is full of hard work and dedication.

Keep working at your skill/craft

Hard work pays off

Don’t give up!

Love these quotes, hope you do as well

“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” — Muhammad Ali, 

“We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes – understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.” — Arianna Huffington, 

“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.” — Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Thank you.

T.O.L- Relax, Sleep

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I don’t understand why sometimes I just cannot relax or get a good night’s sleep. I do this all the time, knowing I’m tired, but still want to get so much done. Then I complain and cuss myself in the mornings because I’m still tired and have no energy. Like tonight, I have been working on editing my book for the last two weeks, and tonight that is what I am doing, and I know I have to be up at 5 am for work. But my crazy self wants to continue editing for at least another two hours and post for my blog. So determined and wanting to get it all done fast that it’s cutting into my relaxation and sleep schedule. Why? I always question myself. LOL. I guess tonight; I will have to force myself to bed. Luckily, I work early morning and part-time hours tomorrow, so after work, I am back at it and work on some book covers.

Is anybody else like this? It is kind of weird. LOL. Well, just a little thinking out loud. Blabbing. Time for bed. Homegirl is really tired! Have a goodnight all.

Blessings and Love

Thanks for visiting!

T.O.L-Time

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Time waits for no one. I take the use of my time seriously. I do not like my time wasted; it irritates me. Time is precious and should be used wisely and how we want while we can.

T-Timely

I-Instant

M-Memories,

E-Eternity

Know that your time is valuable should not be wasted on unwanted BS.

Again, time waits for no one!

Thinking out loud. Short and simple!

Thoughts?

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.

Control

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Control

When you think of control what does it mean to you?

Control to me is having a say over any and everything. Have to be up close and have a hand in everything that is going on around you. Including control over people.

Man, man, man I hate when things are out of my control. I am a Leo and yes sometimes I am bossy and must control everything around me. When something is out of my control, I feel lost, nervous, my body shakes I feel anxious, and I get easily irritated. Anybody else like that? I be a nervous wreck and constantly questioning everything. Then I am overthinking and worrying, crazy huh?

Some people say to me that its ok to let go of having control over everything and relax. It is hard to do that thought. I have been thinking about it lately and maybe I should let go a little, take it one day at a time, relax, do not go overboard, and try to run people lives. I mean how hard can it be? Where do I start? Are there any other control freaks out there? Help lol

Happy Writing!!!

Love, Peace, Happiness, and Blessings!

Thank You For Reading.

Thank you for reading!

Defender

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I am a defender

A defender to me

I protect me, myself, and I

Defender

Fighting those who

Threatens me

Defender

On guard of course

Protective gear

I am a defender

A defender to me, to my family

Watch closely

Listen and I am alert

Fighting anything that comes close

Defender

Everything on lock

No one gets through

Nope

Defender

Stand tall

Confident

Strong

I am a defender

A defender of

ME…

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.