Hello everyone, how is everyone doing tonight? My night is going okay had a kind of hard day but that is behind me now. Hope all is okay.
Well, it is the last day of the month of March. And for me it has been challenging and filled with lost and sadness. My days has been hard to get through and been emotional. Even on the bad days I try to be strong and keep it pushing. The month been a rollercoaster for me, yet I am still writing this with a smile on my face.
With all that is going on this month I have remained grateful and thankful. Praying works for me and still grateful for life waking up and trying my best every day. I am thankful that I am still working, taking care of my family, writing, becoming more positive. Even though I am still mad and hurting about my mom I continue to pray for strength and healing, and I have faith.
How has the month of March been for you? Are you excited for a new month?
Hoping the month of April brings better things for me and my family. I hope that I can do more for my family, write more, try to get one of my books done, and be a better me overall. Working on my monthly goals for April also. Do you have any goals for April?
I am still healing and hopefully remain on the right path next month and months to come.
Well going to call it a night people. Hope you all had a good day and night.
I am grateful for this day and to be around my loving kids. I am thankful they are in my life, they keep me together No Lie. I am also grateful for this blog and being able to put my feelings and crazy thoughts out there and being able to fully be me. I thank everyone who reads my blog I appreciate it. I hope your writing and blogging makes you feel free and you are doing something you love. Happy Writing! Again thank you.
What are you grateful for this day. How was your day?
Sending prayers and wishing you love and happiness. Goodnight everyone.
I walked away, I said I am done, I can not do this no more. I was in a relationship off and on for eight years, and there were only two years it was good, and I was happy in the relationship. I feel like I wasted my time, wasted my life, wasted my love, all while trying to help the other person build them up and give them chance after chance. During those years I forgot about myself. I stayed to try and work it out for our kids, again forgetting about myself forgetting about my feelings in the process. I felt alone and hopeless for years. He did not want to help me do anything or help with anything; he was just there. Talking was pointless because when I would speak my mind on how things were, I would get called names or he would say I was nagging and all I asked for was help with our kids and help with bills. I could never get that. I felt weak, lost, lonely, defeated, and depressed handling everything on my own including my own battles while in a relationship and taking care of everything. The relationship drained me, it was bad it was abuse on both of our sides and I am not happy about that, I was a different person, I became very mean and never wanted to be bother with. Deep depression and looking at my children face I knew we needed a change and that I needed to do better for them and focus only on them. Damn I honestly felt like I was shit, like I was no good. He always worked and had jobs and would get paid and go hang out with his family and friends his priorities were always off, that’s part of the reason I felt like I was no good because I could not get the man, I gave children to, gave my love to, and slept with every night could not help me with the simplest shit. Wow I cannot believe I went through that and stayed with him if I did. I went through so much hurt and pain and sadness alone. I could not talk to him, too many arguments, so I just shut down. Happy to say for the last two years I been single, but he stills begs to have his family back, and it gets annoying. Seriously how many chances should you give a person. Eight years and nothing had changed, and it seemed to be getting worse, so I had to end it for my peace, happiness, and sanity. Then he will tell me that nobody will ever want me and if they did it will only be for sex; he stills says that I am his forever. Just had to walk away. I made a post some days ago about how I felt about him, the hate is strong and the fact that he keeps wanting to get back together makes it worst. I do not understand why he wants to be together when I tried time after time to talk to him and figure things out and make it work but he never wanted to hear it. Now he mad because he messed up. Honestly feel like he was using me for a place to stay. Man, tired of it, all I want is peace. I do not like arguing with him and losing my cool. Wish he would understand, and we could co parent without the drama. Been trying to move on for two years and it has been a long ride.
Just had to let that out I do not want to be bitter about the past, I want to live happy and have no drama. Want this hatred out my heart, we do have to be around each other for our kids. Still lost and do not know what to do. I am just venting and getting my feelings out it was heavy on my mind, feel a little better. Praying for a better year.
Thank you for reading.
*Repost- wrote this 12/31/2020*
Wanted to share again, something I am happy I did.
Today just want to say hi and wish a happy day on everyone. Remember to love yourself even through the hard times. It can be hard I know, have faith. Love those around you, those who are there for you and care for you, be kind. Sending happiness and love on this Sunday. Praying for all of course. Be safe and have a great day. Again just want to send LOVE💙❤🧡💛💚🤎🖤🤍
Have A Great One!!!!
Wishing you Peace, Love, Happiness, and Blessings!!!