Thinking back to almost two years ago and last year, I asked God for signs, for assurance. I asked God many times if this was the right situation for me. I had no answers for months to a year. I started to feel good, started to feel all was good. I was finally happy with someone who I thought was all for me. When you get too comfortable with life, that’s when truth slaps you. Slaps you hard, has you dazed and very much confused, and that I was. I was talking to this guy for almost two years and thought it was great. I thought I was in love and in happiness, and it all changed. I found some things out last year after already talking to him for about 15 months. I found out that he was lying to me and was lying about a lot. Damn. I didn’t even have his real name. again Damn…
So, there I go down the rabbit hole with me doing research and coming to the conclusion that he was not for me, and I was not for him. After a year and two months of not talking to him, I am still in disbelief, still in pain. I mean, my heart really hurts. Though it may seem like it was easy for me to let go and walk away, it wasn’t, and it’s still not. I stopped answering text and phone calls, and sometimes, still to this day, he contacts me. I know I have to be strong. I now know that I am better off without this person in my life. Again, I am still hurting and really mad. At the same time, I am thankful and grateful that I found out everything that I did and made the right decision for my life. I asked and I received. It may not have been the moment I asked or days and months later, but it was answered. God works on his timing, and maybe I had to go through all the motions to get to this place. I am still healing, just another thing I need to heal from, but it is all good. The truth set me free and brought clarity to me. Forever grateful. I asked and I received, and the truth set me free.
What's the first impression you want to give people?
A calm and happy first impression Is what I strive to give A warm and welcoming expression Is how I love to live I offer a gentle smile And a soothing voice to match With me, you’ll feel at ease awhile And your worries will detach My presence brings a peaceful air And my words are soft and kind I’m here to show you that I care And to ease your troubled mind So come and sit with me for a while And let my calmness be your guide Together, we’ll find a happy smile And a sense of peace inside
Why am I such an overthinker? I tend to second-guess myself all the time, and I take a long time to make a decision. I think about everything. My mind is constantly going and thinking of stuff, whether it is good or bad. I also worry a lot, and putting that with me being an overthinker, and boom, it’s chaotic and very overwhelming. I try to sit back and relax but I can admit that sometimes I am uptight and too much going on and to worry about. I have heard some people say that being an overthinker is a bad thing.
Wow, I really need to relax and take it a day at a time. Anyway, I am overthinking right now. That is just me, the overthinker and overanalyzer. SMH.
What do you think? Are you like this? I overthink every situation I encounter, and sometimes, I feel bad about the decisions that I make. This is a trait of mine that I do not like; it can be annoying at times.