When you think of control what does it mean to you?
Control to me is having a say over any and everything. Have to be up close and have a hand in everything that is going on around you. Including control over people.
Man, man, man I hate when things are out of my control. I am a Leo and yes sometimes I am bossy and must control everything around me. When something is out of my control, I feel lost, nervous, my body shakes I feel anxious, and I get easily irritated. Anybody else like that? I be a nervous wreck and constantly questioning everything. Then I am overthinking and worrying, crazy huh?
Some people say to me that its ok to let go of having control over everything and relax. It is hard to do that thought. I have been thinking about it lately and maybe I should let go a little, take it one day at a time, relax, do not go overboard, and try to run people lives. I mean how hard can it be? Where do I start? Are there any other control freaks out there? Help lol
So tonight, I am sitting and thinking. And of course, this damn dude is on my mind. Like what the fuck, why? My emotions are everywhere and yes, I am a little tipsy and besides what I am dealing with I am thinking of him. Again why? Oh, my yall I am irritating my damn self at the moment. Cannot help but to think is this real? Does he really feel the same way I do, shit does he really like me? Here I go feeling young-minded and questioning myself and the situation instead of letting it all go and that is not good. Just feel confused and out of it, maybe I should just walk away and forget it all thought it was what I wanted but I do not know now. I have mixed emotions and we are both dealing with things. That is why I do not like putting my feelings out there I feel dumb and used it to benefit them talk and texting on their time. Thinking yeah it is too good to be true. Just wish I could find realness, real love besides what I can offer. Ugh it's
too good to be true and I am pissed off. I really need a friend and love I feel dumb and stupid and I am thinking why me why I cannot get what I give. Venting, thinking, and letting it all out, I am rambling, ugh irritated though.
I have. Still need to do more editing but will do that another day. Tonight, just getting ideas and thoughts out on paper and of course writing to keep my mind of stuff and today it is working so I am good with that. Trying to complete at least 3 more chapters before bed tonight even though I am tired I will push through and meet that goal. I have writing goals that I try to make and complete every weekend. So much good content tonight that I have a big smile on my face I love this feeling seriously. This is my Saturday night!!!! Well back to it then. Hope your night is going great.๐ค๐ค๐๐
How is your weekend going? Any writing? What do you like to write about? Any exciting plans?
Tonight is a chill night, of course I am writing and being myself and I have a lot on my mind and putting it on paper. At the moment it is writing, music, drinks, a vibe, chilling. I am feeling okay right now, trying to heal and it can be hard but tonight I am cool.
Hope you all had a great day! Happy Writing/Blogging!
How is your night going? What do you have planned this Tuesday night?Also love is on my mind. Remember to always love your self. Sending you all LOVE!
Wishing you Love, Peace, Happiness, and Blessings!!! Thank you for reading!