Tag Archives: Writing

Not the day II: NIGHT

02/11/2022thoughtsBlog, Faith, Feelings, Grief, JustWrite, life, Lost, Pain, Prayers, thoughts, Venting, WritingRay'Elaine

Okay, so an update, my mom’s family decided and made a decision I’m sure a really hard one and took my grandpa off life support earlier today. R.I.P. to my grandpa I can not lie and say I am doing okay. I am in breakdown mode. He and my mom are together, and I know they will continue to watch over me and be with me. I am sad and just down, very down. Seriously I cannot concentrate, and again like I stated in my blog earlier my emotions are everywhere. WTF and my mind is going miles. Kind of pissed I had to find out on Facebook but I know people are going through it and feeling the loss and grief so I can not take it too personally and take it for what it is. Such a sad night and sorry for the negative post. Your girl is just going through a lot right now and no lie feel like losing it.

Smoking and drinking(Yeah some do not agree and so what), trying to feel numb that is my night, my mood and honestly, I do not care. Craziness… Too much going on. For real I am kind of panicking. Yeah, such a damn day and night.

She venting AGAIN

Love you all and hope your night is better

Again, praying for my family. Strength, guidance, healing, protection, and love.

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.

Not the day.

02/11/2022thoughtsBlog, Faith, Feelings, Hurting, JustWrite, life, Loss, Pain, Prayers, Sad, writer, WritingRay'Elaine

So today I am trying to keep it all together I have been praying all night as well as this morning. I am in a mood this morning and trying to shake these feelings but man nothing is helping at the moment, I know it is morning, but I really want a few drinks just to feel a little numb. On my mom’s side of the family her dad, my grandpa is on life support, and I am feeling down and depressed about it. The last time I have seen him was around this time last year when I went with my mom to Kansas City, Missouri to see her family before she passed. I am at a loss right now and maybe feeling a little guilty for not talking to him or seeing him sooner. I feel bad and beating myself up about it. He is a good man and been good to his family.

Got that news yesterday as well as news of my uncle on my dad side, his big brother is not feeling well and might be going to hospice due to kidney failure which is what my mom dealt with and she died of kidney failure, which in two weeks it will be a year since she passed. She is always on my mind and often want her. So much is going on with me right now, just want to escape it all. Praying for all my family and hoping things get better. It just seems like it is always something especially when I am trying to overcome things of the past. Ugh, today is not a good one, hopefully, I can get over it all. This post is nothing new about my feelings its just I feel it is too much at one time and I feel hopeless, lost, and scared. So tired of losses Damn. Might have to take a trip to Kansas City, Missouri to see family and give my support to my family.

I am sad, hurt, emotions all over the place.

Just wanted to come and vent my heart is heavy all over again and still thinking about my mom so I’m just a lost cause today. Please pray for me. Thank you all for the support and reading my blog I know I tend to just ramble.

Praying for better days…..

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

https://writeblg.com/2021/12/18/loss-and-grief/

Hurting

Prayer Tonight

I Vent…

02/07/2022thoughtsBlogging, Feelings, happy, JustWrite, Monday, thoughts, Venting, WritingRay'Elaine

I Vent….

Doesn’t it just suck when we want what we can not have. Wanting someone or something when you know its wrong it just sucks. Damn this guy from my past has been on my mind lately and I do not know why. I know he is no good for me. We have never been in a relationship or together like that, but I know that he is seriously bad news. But why in the hell do I think about him or want him? Damn crazy and I try not to think about him. Sometimes I think about what could be or what a relationship between the two of us would look like. I just see his sexy face and sexy voice oh my oh my. I seriously need to stop; can you say annoyed lol. But he is serious on my mind, and he do not know how I feel SMH. Oh Boy! My feelings at the moment, I vent…..

Have a happy Monday!!!!

Thank you for reading.

Me

02/07/2022Poems, PoemsBlogging, Faith, Feelings, happy, JustWrite, life, Love, poetry, self, thoughts, WritingRay'Elaine

Me, solo on my mission to better things

Me Strong

There is many around, but none who genuinely care

Me in my mind, closed off to the world

Me, Silence, Invisible

Nobody but me, I got it, wait, do I?

Who needs people, wait huh do I?

Me, solo, darkness, lonely

So many around, who cares

Just me, solo!

Thank You For Reading.

FLOW

02/05/2022Poems, thoughtsBlogging, Dreams, Feelings, Flow, happy, JustWrite, life, Passion, poetry, Ray'Elaine, WritingRay'Elaine

FLOW!

F- Following my own lead, following my visions, my dreams, feeling powerful, facing myself

L- Learning and growing, letting go of the past, listening to my voice more often, loving myself

O- Observe everything around me, open my mind, my heart, open to new and better ideas

W- Willing to do what it takes to achieve my dream, I have wisdom, wishful, working on a better life for my kids and myself, work hard, a woman that is worthy

That is me. I go with the flow of things and wish for the best. Learning as I go!

Just go with the FLOW!!

Hope you enjoy this.

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.

February 2022

02/02/2022thoughtsBlack History Month, February, JustWrite, life, Lvoe, New Month, Passion, Unknown, WritingRay'Elaine

Happy Month of February and Black history month. Day 2 a little late. Got some new goals and changes coming this month and am excited about them. Seems January went too fast, but I am excited about this month and what is to come. Also, will be honoring black history month on this blog so stay tuned for that and of course more of my poems and thoughts. And more writing!!!

What goals do you have this month? Are you writing?

A short post! The second month of the year!!!

Thank you for reading.

Unhealthy Habits.

01/18/2022thoughtsBlog, Faith, Feelings, Health, JustWrite, life, thoughts, Unhealthy Habits, writer, WritingRay'Elaine

When I think about my body and the bad habits that I have, I think about trying to make a change. I say try because I know that it will be hard and would be a process, especially if it is something that has been done for ten-plus years. I want to try to stop smoking cigarettes. Also, my drinking and smoking have picked up lately. Just doing too much. Need to stop it all. I know that it is not helping me, my mind, body, and soul. Add to that I do not eat healthy either, love junk food too much. Honestly do not know where to start. I have so many bad habits that need to be moderated or cut completely. Damn bad habits.

This is something that has been on my mind, especially the smoking/drinking thing need to get rid of it. Seems like it is getting very excessive, and I try to stop it. Damn bad habits….

Guess I have to check myself on this. Talk to my doctor and do some research and figure out what is best for me. Cut down on the foods that I eat too much of, cut the drinking, cut cigarettes and hopefully fully stop. I will figure this out and make the right decision. Sometimes in life, a change is needed and why not start with the bad, horrible habits that I have. Even on those tough days, I need to find a different and better solution. Damn unpleasant habits…

Most of us have them.

How is it going? Are there any unhealthy habits you would like to get rid of?

Do you wish to make changes soon? Any tips on healthy eating? Stop smoking? Help LOL!!

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.