Lonely days with nothing but these thoughts, bad ones, negative ones oh man. Sitting in the dark trying to block out everything wondering why. That is what is mostly on my mind all the time, all the bad that has gone on again I ask why? Why me? Lonely nights sitting in the dark with a bottle of liquor in my hands drowning in the liquor trying to drink all the pain away, yes still in the dark its better this way. No reflection of myself and nobody looking this way, good do not want any to see me, just drowning. The past is what brings me here always like why? Why this? Why that? Lonely days and nights turn into darkness, depression, anxiety, pain, despair, and sadness. Lonely with tears in my eyes as I ask my self why. A question to my past. Always lonely and in the dark trying to climb out my own head away from the negative thoughts, climb out my depression, away from my past, away from the madness, and from my lonely why.
Memories the good and the bad. Mostly the good ones though, just sitting here thinking. I am thinking of the good moments and memories me, my kids, and my mom has shared. It has been 23 days since my mom has passed and it seems unreal still. I sometimes still grab my phone ready to call her. This is so hard. Now all I have left is the great memories of her. She always had a beautiful smile on her face. These memories I will hold onto forever. Thinking of the good times sometimes helps when I am down. I love all our great memories and missing you mom. My mom My lil GLO, my Gloria your memory lives on. I will always have you in my heart.
Let it all out. Hope you all are having a better night.
Thank you for reading. Love, Peace, Happiness, and Blessings
Been three days and I am still in shock. I feel like I am coming and going. I am lost and hurting right now and I know it will take some time to heal. Such a beautiful person gone so soon. I love you mom and you will be missed. Again I am still shocked and haven't been in the mood to do anything. I just really want to be alone I am taking this hard and wish I could stop thinking so much. Feelings at the moment: Shocked, Lost, Hurt, Sad, Raged, Alone, Depressed, and more. Got to take this one day at a time and I know it will not be easy.
Praying for strength, guidance, understanding, patience wisdom, and healing for me and my family. Praying that things will get better with time. Venting and getting out how I feel right now and writing this took time. My thoughts, My Feelings. Just Write!