Are you a person who can easily walk away from challenging situations? Are you a person who can easily forgive? Easily forget the negative.
Me I am not that person. I worry too much and think about the past way too much. Something I do not like about myself. I am always on edge and thinking about my past makes it worst and then anxiety kicks in. Wish it were easy for me to forget stuff, to forgive, and trust more. Want to easily walk away with no wounds. Wishful thinking huh? Yeah, it is annoying at times, and wish I could just leave the negative shit in the past. I worry too much it is crazy. Again, wish I can easily walk away from all the bad. Worrying a lot is stressful.
Ugh too much on my mind right now and want to getaway. Head spinning and mind racing fast. You ever had one of those days? Praying on it as always. Just writing to get my thoughts, feelings, and venting out. Sometimes I have to whether it is a negative post or not. I just want to be able to forgive and forget. I am me and right now I am worrying and having anxiety, must admit writing does help as it is calming for a moment. Praying for all of those having those bad days. Breathe and pray about it. Have faith.
Okay so everything was fine, and I am writing and then my mom pops up in my head. Oh man that just made me pause and just start balling. Hate this feeling and now feeling a little down. Why does this happen? Now I am going to pray then turn on some music and hopefully stop feeling this way. UGh shake it off I’m saying to myself. Maybe I need to go to bed. Put the notebooks and pens up and rest. Maybe she is telling me something I don’t know. Ughh whatever music and a shot of something strong, shower and the damn bed. And it is really past my bedtime lol have to be up at 5am. Just venting and a little freaked out. Praying for sure.
It comes and goes the emotions of missing my mom and thinking about her. Sometimes when I least expect it. Again, Oh Man WTF…..Yeah, a negative post (Sort Of). Feelings though
When you hear the word deceit what does it mean to you?
How does deceit make you feel?
Why does it make some of us pained?
Well, it is hurtful to get deceived and constantly being lied to, when you are a good person and love hard. Someone who is willing to lie, cheat, and steal to hurt you and they know that what they are doing is hurting you that person is leading with deceit they are so deceitful. Hiding their true intentions with the lies, sweet talk, gifts, and all the fake love they give. I have been in certain situations when a person was deceitful and wanted to bring harm to me and I was being nice, maybe stupid by loving them and was getting used the whole time. Yes, thankful I found out when I did.
Some people are just that way and nothing we can do about it but leave them alone. Especially when you start to see the signs, it is best to leave. I wish I can get inside people head to see what they are really thinking and to somewhat better understand and deal with them. Because right now I just do not understand why people like that do it. Yeah, I know its apart of life, a part of learning lessons. I know some like to lie and be deceitful just to see what they can get away with it. Some see it as a job deceiving, scamming, to make money. Man, these people and their deceitful ways smh..
Sometimes we feel so hurt by deceit and that is where the trusting others come in. Being aware of who and what is around us. People will try you suck you dry verbally, emotionally, physical, and financial. Craziness, right? You must learn from those past deceitful situations, and that can be hard sometimes.
My feeling/thoughts tonight… My wondering mind lol. F Deceit!
Have you ever felt unhappy, filled with rage? You just want those who hurt you to hurt also. You want them to suffer and feel all the pain you feel plus more. Past pain, relationships, anybody. Sometimes I think of revenge, wanting to inflict torture and pain, to see them squirm, see them feel helpless, powerless, weak, lost, and scared. I want them to feel it all. That is how I am feeling at the moment I know some people can relate and some can’t **Shrugs**. Payback.
It is crazy how they are out living there lives, they suffered no consequences, out and free. And me I feel I am still trapped in that time in that pain. Replaying the shit that was done and it still feels like no time has passed. Crazy world I feel this way and must deal with it every day. Yes, I have been trying to forget it all it is hard some days are way harder than other days. I feel this way towards anyone who brought harm my way no matter who it was or is. I want them to feel what I feel sometimes. Venting like I do and sitting and thinking why they got away with it and why am I still suffering.
Am I the only one who feels this way towards a person or towards people who hurt you? Want to get pass it. And no, I do not understand it at all. Still hurting, forever hurting.
My thoughts tonight people. Hope you have a great one. Please feel free to like, comment, and share. Thank you for reading.
Love This song by Saint Bodhi named hurt like me wanted to share the video. Match the mood I am in tonight Again thank you for reading. Again just my thoughts for the night!