Thinking back to almost two years ago and last year, I asked God for signs, for assurance. I asked God many times if this was the right situation for me. I had no answers for months to a year. I started to feel good, started to feel all was good. I was finally happy with someone who I thought was all for me. When you get too comfortable with life, that’s when truth slaps you. Slaps you hard, has you dazed and very much confused, and that I was. I was talking to this guy for almost two years and thought it was great. I thought I was in love and in happiness, and it all changed. I found some things out last year after already talking to him for about 15 months. I found out that he was lying to me and was lying about a lot. Damn. I didn’t even have his real name. again Damn…
So, there I go down the rabbit hole with me doing research and coming to the conclusion that he was not for me, and I was not for him. After a year and two months of not talking to him, I am still in disbelief, still in pain. I mean, my heart really hurts. Though it may seem like it was easy for me to let go and walk away, it wasn’t, and it’s still not. I stopped answering text and phone calls, and sometimes, still to this day, he contacts me. I know I have to be strong. I now know that I am better off without this person in my life. Again, I am still hurting and really mad. At the same time, I am thankful and grateful that I found out everything that I did and made the right decision for my life. I asked and I received. It may not have been the moment I asked or days and months later, but it was answered. God works on his timing, and maybe I had to go through all the motions to get to this place. I am still healing, just another thing I need to heal from, but it is all good. The truth set me free and brought clarity to me. Forever grateful. I asked and I received, and the truth set me free.
I want to talk about how irritating it is when someone constantly tells me they are sorry for something they repeatedly do. I do not get it at all. Does anybody else get annoyed with this? I mean, why say you are sorry when you really are not. It is not hard to be upfront and real with someone instead of lying and saying you are sorry. That irritates me. Like seriously, do not tell me you are sorry and you do not mean it, or just tell me to send me off. Or don’t keep repeating the same messed-up behaviors and saying sorry for it time and time again. If you have to constantly lie to me, please choose to move on and not be around me; not too much to ask for.
Ugh okay just thinking out loud tonight, some people are so insensitive. Am I the only one?