So today I am trying to keep it all together I have been praying all night as well as this morning. I am in a mood this morning and trying to shake these feelings but man nothing is helping at the moment, I know it is morning, but I really want a few drinks just to feel a little numb. On my mom’s side of the family her dad, my grandpa is on life support, and I am feeling down and depressed about it. The last time I have seen him was around this time last year when I went with my mom to Kansas City, Missouri to see her family before she passed. I am at a loss right now and maybe feeling a little guilty for not talking to him or seeing him sooner. I feel bad and beating myself up about it. He is a good man and been good to his family.

Got that news yesterday as well as news of my uncle on my dad side, his big brother is not feeling well and might be going to hospice due to kidney failure which is what my mom dealt with and she died of kidney failure, which in two weeks it will be a year since she passed. She is always on my mind and often want her. So much is going on with me right now, just want to escape it all. Praying for all my family and hoping things get better. It just seems like it is always something especially when I am trying to overcome things of the past. Ugh, today is not a good one, hopefully, I can get over it all. This post is nothing new about my feelings its just I feel it is too much at one time and I feel hopeless, lost, and scared. So tired of losses Damn. Might have to take a trip to Kansas City, Missouri to see family and give my support to my family.

I am sad, hurt, emotions all over the place.

Just wanted to come and vent my heart is heavy all over again and still thinking about my mom so I’m just a lost cause today. Please pray for me. Thank you all for the support and reading my blog I know I tend to just ramble.

Praying for better days…..

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.