Tag Archives: Hurting

Miss Mom..

poetry, thoughts, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Every day that passes by 

I can’t help but wonder why 

You had to go so far away 

Leaving me here, alone to stay 

My heart is heavy, full of pain 

As I long to see you once again 

To feel your love, your warm embrace 

And see the smile on your face 

I miss the times we used to share 

The laughter, love, and all the care 

I miss your voice, your gentle touch 

And all the things I loved so much 

But even though you’re far away 

My love for you will never stray 

For you are always in my heart 

And we will never be apart 

So until the day we meet again 

I’ll hold you close, my dear mom  

And cherish all the memories 

Of the love that you have given me 

Forever missing you 

-Miss Mom- 

Blessings and Love! 

Thank you for reading. 

In My Heart

Oh well! 

thoughts, , , , , , , ,

Damn though it is my fault. Everything is on me and I did this to myself by being in this shell of mine, not letting my true feelings out. I guess I have been in shutdown mode. Grieving today and a broken heart is added. Damn story of my life. I cannot seem to get it together and another person left me, and I do not blame him. It is my fault. It is what it is. Though my heart hurts it’s because of my own doing. DAMN 

 Oh Well, Oh Well, Oh Well, I will be alright……Hopefully 

Hope your day is way better than mine is! 🖤🤎💙💗💚💛🧡🤍💜

Blessings! 

Thank you for reading. 

Frustrated..

poetry, , , , , , , , , , , ,

That feeling of being full of rage, full of sadness, seeing dark 

Frustrated with it all 

With all the weight I carry, Damn so fucking heavy 

Frustrated 

Life is in disarray 

Frustrated 

With me, myself, and I, all my fault 

I am not happy, not where I want to be 

Frustrated  

Seems like I am failing, I am deep under water 

Frustrated 

I am drowning, no hope 

Feelings of powerless, weak, misunderstood 

Feelings of being useless 

Frustrated 

Mad at the world, at those around me 

Though it is not their fault I am fucked up 

Frustrated 

Lonely, hurt, and lost 

I am a nobody, obviously 

Frustrated 

When do it end 

Damn 

So tired, and frustrated with being frustrated 

Story of Ray’s life 

Frustrated 

Damn, never ending….

Blessings and Love! 

Thank you for reading.

Rage III

Poems, thoughts, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rage in my heart, beats like thunder

A tempest raging deep within

My thoughts, a wild and fearsome wonder

A storm that’s set to never end

My anger rises like a fire

A burning flame that knows no end

My soul consumed by its desire

To lash out, to break and bend

Ripping apart my peace

Anger boiling deep within

Grinding teeth and shaking fists

Explosive fury taking over

Blood boiling

Over and over

Damn this rage inside of me…

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.

Rage

Rage II

A Thought…(A Poem)

poetry, thoughts, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes it is best to move on and stay silent

They leave, let them, no begging here.

If they don’t love you, you love yourself more

Do not be concerned about the why’s or what if’s- It was never really love

Move on though it hurts and know that life goes on!

It will be okay. It was not meant to be, and it is what it is.

Still surviving, still strong

Move on and still be yourself, and move smarter, stronger and brighter!

Again, Move on, Stay Silent

My Thoughts at the moment

Blessings and Love!

Thank you for visiting.

No More Tears

Poems, poetry, thoughts, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Learning to be okay

With my past

I often tell myself

No more tears

Learning to let go

Of the tight hold

The past has over me

Again, I say

No more tears

Want it all to be forgotten

Blocked out my mind

Struggling to move on

No more tears

For those who caused pain

No more tears

For my benefit

Let it go Ray

Do not let it define you

No more tears

Tired of being tied down

No more I say

I have to gain control

No more tears

Be myself, be free

No more questioning why

All cried out I am

Stay strong

Stand tall, rise above my past

Be proud, wear my scars

I say to myself, no, nope, done

No More Tears.

Blessing and Love.

Thank you for reading.

Damn Tears…

Rage II

Poems, thoughts, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This fire, this hurt, this pain, sadness built up

I just want to let it out

My body, my mind wants bloody revenge

Rage inside and I do not care who I hurt, do not care of the outcome

Rage roaring if you are in my view, tears will be cried, blood will be shed

Rage causing me to lose focus, I cannot see, its darkness

Rage want me to react

Rage got me drowning, drinking constantly

Rage inside of me ready to burst

Flames everywhere

Hurt, pain everywhere

Rage rage rage as it continues to build

Damn rage inside of me

Blessings and Love!

Thank you reading.

Torn

Poems, , , , , , , , ,

I am Torn

Between not knowing the true intentions of a person

Torn

Is it all fake? Real?

Torn

Between my head and my heart

Question every conversation, moments, movements

Torn

Because I stay guarded

Scared to let me out

Torn

Though they words sound nice

A difference in their actions

Shit don’t add up

Torn

Due to wasted time

Torn

See all the blurriness!

Torn

I always get left behind

Torn

Due to sweet lies

Funny

Though I am torn

Life goes on!

-Torn-

Blessings and Love

Thank you for reading.

Oh Man.. WTF!

thoughts, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Doing good then Boom…. Why?

Okay so everything was fine, and I am writing and then my mom pops up in my
head. Oh man that just made me pause and just start balling. Hate this feeling and now feeling a little down. Why does this happen? Now I am going to pray then turn on some music and hopefully stop feeling this way.

UGh shake it off I’m saying to myself. Maybe I need to go to bed. Put the notebooks and pens up and rest. Maybe she is telling me something I don’t know. Whatever music and a shot of something strong, a joint, shower and the damn bed. Just want to feel numb and not think for a while. Crazy months ago, thought I would be done drinking but here I am tonight with all these damn emotions, and a damn drink in hand (SMH). And it is really past my bedtime lol have to be up at 5am (Got To Work! YAY!) plus I have a migraine on top of all this.

Whew! Just venting and a little freaked out. It’s like I am feeling her. Again, have to shake it off….. Get it together. Oh Man, WTF- My feelings tonight.

 I Love and miss you mom. R.I.P.

Hope you all night is good! Have a good one.

 Blessings and Love!

Thank you for reading.

Sorry if this post is too negative to you…My Blog My TRUTH!